Scarleteen

I was very close to having ‘intercourse’ for the first time with my boyfriend a few weeks ago. I was willing to let it happen but could not bare the pain. We used a condom and lube and im not even sure it even went in much but I literally let out a scream because how bad it hurt. Im 19 yrs old. I was told that discomfort is normal when losing your virginity but pain isn’t. Is pain like that normal ? Ive never had anything in there and that includes tampons, fingers, etc.

Hi jmonet,

Welcome to the boards! I'm really sorry to hear about the pain you experienced while attempting to have sex. Before moving forward, we have two articles that I think you might benefit from reading. I'll link them here:

• Is sex supposed to hurt?

• From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

Both of these may answer your question and address the possible causes of the pain you experienced. I do want to ask, if you feel comfortable answering, did your partner perform any foreplay on you, or did you both go straight into genital sex?

Please take a look at these articles and let us know what you think of them and if you have any further questions.

Thank you and yes there was a good amount of foreplay involved before trying penetration. I seemed to be pretty aroused so I thought since it was pretty wet down there. I don’t think I was relaxed i may have been pretty nervous and tense. However, like I mentioned the pain was not what I expected. It felt like I was being ripped open and that’s no exaggeration lol. I really liked the articles though. I will look more into them to rule out what may be causing that pain and possibly go get checked out down there.

Hi there, jmonet!

Glad you liked the articles! Getting a check-up once in a while is a good idea in general anyway.

I believe you about the pain, and it absolutely shouldn't hurt like that. Being relaxed should help, and so should taking your time. Good luck with finding a solution! Let us know if you need more help.