Scarleteen

Hi all,
I'm a 20 year old socially anxious woman and I've dated a few men till now. I've really liked them, but never connected with them,if that makes sense. I've never felt 'in love' or heartbroken over these people. I've never cried for them the way I've cried when a friend, who i adored, left me.
I've sure felt lust (only over text), but never an emotional bond. I've only cried over one break up, because I felt guilty of breaking his heart. I remember even after months of dating, I wouldn't be able to kiss him, or let him kiss me without wincing. I havent been able to enjoy intimacy with anyone. Especially in real life. No matter how comfortable I feel, no matter how much I've wanted to have fun. With men, I've always felt either suffocated or not enough. I genuinely love the idea of being someone's person, but feel cringey and disgusted when I actually am.
I would just think I haven't found the right person had I felt any sort of (unrequited) love as a teenager. I fear being actually aromantic since I haven't had a crush on men I can actually have for as long as I can remember.
I don't know if it's comphet or not, but I'm scared of never being able to experience love or (tmi warning) an orgasm, when I'm with anyone.
I don't know what I'm looking for, maybe just some sort of guidance from people who might have gone through something similar

Hi tryingmybest20,

Thank you for reaching out to us and being so open about your experiences. So, we cannot tell you if you're aromantic, nor do we want to put words in your mouth regarding your experiences, but we can definitely give you the proper information so you can see if you can relate to this particular identity. Are you interested in that?

Also, could you expand on some of your fears about possibly being aromantic and why you believe this is comphet? Are you thinking that you might be queer since you've felt a disconnect from romantic relationships and intimacy with men? Or do you think your social anxiety could play a role in this? I'm sorry for all the questions, and you don't have to answer them if you're not comfortable, I just think that opening up some dialogue could help with exploring what you're going through!