Scarleteen

Hi! Im a 16 year old girl, and ive just been having trouble masturbating. I feel like somethings wrong with me because I can touch myself but with a straight face like I never really feel anything. Im not sure why or if im just putting too much pressure on myself because I want to feel good and experience this pleasure everyone talks about. Ive watched porn read smutt and those will make me feel tingly but whenever i touch myself too it, its just weird like i feel awkward. Hopefully this makes sense

Hey pyc -- welcome to the boards! I know this can feel kind of isolating, but it's actually one of the most common genres of questions we see on the board. We typically find that it's never anything physically wrong with someone and more often an issue with exactly what you said, the pressure of wanting to feel good and experience what other people talk about. It can also be related to body image, understanding of gender, the environment in which people are trying to masturbate, past traumas, or the way people have talked about sex and masturbation around you - so many things! At the end of the day, your brain is the most prominent sexual organ... if something isn't quite working up there, it's might impact everything else.

I'm hearing some embarrassment and awkwardness in your post. Aside from the issue you're having right now, how do you feel about masturbation in general? How did you learn about it? Is there something about doing it that feels a little silly or weird to you?

Hi thank you so much Carly for responding! It does feel sorta embarrassing mainly because its just weird for me to talk about this because ive never ever brought it up so i was just a bit scared to post something so personal online.
In general i feel like masturbation is such a normal thing and a way for someone to just feel good and relieve themselves. I obviously dont know myself but ive just heard great things about it wether it being from books and then articles saying how it can be so good and healthy for you, and just from other woman talking about how its something almost all girls explore at a time in their life and how normal it is.
Umm when do it, it does feel a little weird because im just laying there touching myself while nothing is happening so i feel very awkward doing it. I really feel like it is my brain and the pressure of wanting to experience it so badly that im not just letting it happen its kind of a force of wanting too. I also just feel like its something im missing out on and something i read in books a lot so I just think like I want to know how that feels. And im not sure how I can just let this pressure go and just go with it one day without forcing it on myself.

Hi there, pyc18!

Well you're right! Masturbation is normal, it is a good way to feel pleasure and relax, and it is something that many people explore. I also want to point out that it isn't something you have to do, and it isn't something you have to figure out on some sort of schedule. You are not missing out on anything, because you have so much time to connect with your body and learn about what you like.

It is understandable that you really want to experience this kind of pleasure. But as you mentioned, that can cause a kind of stress that is counter to the state of relaxed exploration you want to be in. Try to be patient with yourself, and remind yourself that you don't have a deadline to figure this out. I think it might help to try to experiment with different kinds of stimulation or positions. This article has a list of ways people masturbate (you'll have to scroll a bit)- do you think you'd like to try them out?