Scarleteen

Im 19 rn and I feel miserable low key. I graduated high school when I was 18 and decided to look for a job. Thing is, i have no car so I have to rely on uber and my mum.
I’ve been sorta cockblocked by my older sister, who has been living with us after she moved back in for some years now, i dont even bother remembering how old she is. Anyways, point is, she’s been taking up space on the driveway. Enough so that theres no more space. There is: my mom, my dad, her, and my step brother (that im infuriated that got a car before me even though he hasnt even graduated yet). As much as I would love to borrow her car, or anyones, I kinda need a car when theyre at work for my Own job so its impossible.
So here I am.

No job because no car. No friends because no car. No girlfriend because it would be shameful to have no car. And unable to be “me” in discord voicecalls because I share a room. With her.

Each day I feel my mental thinning and the intrusive thoughts winning as I feel more and more trapped and pathetic. I spend all day playing games because what else is there to do? I live in a fuckin HOT area and the only bearable things in walking distance is a animal shelter and. A. Fuckin. Mcdonalds. I would feel my dignity shatter as a adult if I had to work at a mcdonalds, or use a ebike or something to get to work. Just to note, there is ZERO public transportation where i live so thats fun!!

I dont know what the hell to do with my life. I feel ashamed. I feel isolated. I dont know if I feel like the “adult” i fantasized about becoming as I had in middle school.

Hi Saki,

This all sounds like a really frustrating situation, and like it's understandably bringing you down. I will say that the situation you're describing is probably more common than you realize; lots of people have points in their lives where access to money, transportation, or living space of their own makes them feel like they not able to move into the phase of life they were hoping to.

Can you give me a sense of what kind of help you're looking for from us around all this? Too, I do want to say that right off the bat, it sounds like you may be cutting your own ability to solve some of what's going on off at the knees by dismissing ideas that could help you out in the short term. There's nothing wrong with working at a fast food place, or with using an e-bike or other form of non-car transportation to get around (and plenty, and I mean plenty, of adults do those things, so it doesn't somehow invalidate you being an adult). So some of addressing this situation may come down to accepting having to do things in the short term that aren't the solution you want, but are a solution that gets you the resources you need to get what you want.