Scarleteen

Hey y'all,

I've been doing a lot of thinking about gender lately and about how my body relates to it, so I was wondering how other folk relate to their bodies in regards to their gender and the clothes they wear and how this does or does not conform to the expectations society places on you.

For example. I have breasts so the expectation is that I will wear a bra under clothes, cover up my breasts at the beach and absolutely not bind. But I prefer the opposite of all of those. (Except the beach thing-- despite it being legal here for me to go topless, at my parents' urgings I wear a top, this far anyway).

So, how does your body mesh with your gender? Does it feel like a match, or does it feel mismatched? (And by matched, I don't mean are you cis, I mean does it feel matched irrespective of whether or not society considers it a match).

How do you relate to clothes? Do you stick to one side of the store, or shop for clothes marketed to "both" genders?

What gender norms do you defy?

Thanks y'all, I will answer those questions myself but I don't want to colour anyone else's responses or make anyone think I'm looking for them to answer a certain way.

Originally posted by moonlight bouncing off water at the old boards here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimat ... 00545.html

Totally interesting topic!

So, how my body meshes with my gender: Totally. Cis woman, very happy with the body I have and how that relates to my woman-ness. Definitely a match.

How I related to clothes: I occasionally bind, and am on a mission to acquire more men's shirts in my wardrobe. While I stick to one side for now out of lack of bravery, I will probably eventually shop in both sections. I would love to have a full on tailored dapper wardrobe, full of waistcoats and suit jackets and all kinds of beautiful formal menswear that fits me at the chest and hips (even if I am binding) perfectly. Even when I dress 'woman', I'm still pretty casual/soft butch - I like things like dresses very, very little of the time, though when I do I absolutely love them. So I guess in the way I dress I defy gender norms - I also don't wear makeup, which is pretty Expected of women a lot of the time, but I can't be bothered with that unless I'm going to go for a full on colour palooza.

I've always been really interested in how people relate their gender and their clothes, though. I know a lot of masculine presenting cis women who get asked if they're trans because - men's clothes! Equals man, surely! And on the other side, I know some men who wear feminine clothes and get asked if they're gay or trans, too. We really as a society have a very solid idea of what clothes mean, and it's very interesting to see that unraveled.

I can't say how my body meshes with my gender, because I do not have a sense of gender. So there is nothing for the body to match or clash with. I do not dislike my body, it doesn't feel wrong, but I most likely wouldn't mind if it had a different set of parts, either. Breasts, wide hips, and a vulva are what I happen to have and it's fine.

I dress androgynously (not specifically male or female, although people tend to interpret that as masculine) or masculine. I do not wear dresses or makeup and I prefer my hair short. I never wear heels but I do like some kinds of jewellery.
I'm definitely casual. When I want to dress up, I go for things like silk shirts and nice jackets. I can usually find clothes on both sides of the store, but for me, they can't look too feminine, because that feels... off. Like something for other people, not me.

Great subject. I'm interested in what others have to say.

Body: I'm comfortable with it except that around my period I get dysphoric about having a uterus (though that might just be because that time is especially painful for me); otherwise the rest of my body fits relatively well.

Gender: definitely female, cis, no fighting gender-norms there (norms meaning the majority of the population, not any stereotypes saying people who aren't cis aren't 'normal' because they are.).

Clothes - I buy mostly women's clothes because my breasts are large enough that men's tops wouldn't really fit well (a lot of women's ones don't either). I have a few pairs of men's jeans and I like them because of the pockets but feel awkward because when I sit, there's nothing to fill the excess crotch-space, so it juts up awkwardly. I like dresses sometimes, other times I want to wear jeans. I have SPD to a mild extent and issues with texture, so I'm very picky - no lace unless the underlying fabric is different, no excessively loose skirts/dresses (I don't like the idea of the back flying up without me noticing), nothing that digs in excessively, skinny jeans over sweatpants because jeans hug my skin better, sweatshirts have to be tight and preferably stretchy fabric so they also put pressure on my skin (which I find comforting).

If my boyfriend would lend me a sweatshirt of his or a shirt (which I'd sleep in), I'd be very happy. I prefer the smell of men's body wash over women's sometimes and others I want the fruity/flowery smells of women's soaps. I think that's because the smell reminds me of my boyfriend, but I picked a deodorant which I perceive as having a more 'masculine' scent and I prefer that to any of the 'rose' or 'fresh' or 'powder' scents out there. Some days I wake up and want very badly to wear a skirt, others I wake up and a skirt is irritating to think about. Similarly, I go through stages of trimming hair that is stereotypically removed by females, because I stop caring and then suddenly want the hair all gone. I also go through stages of liking my hair (at whatever length it is) and wanting it shorter (the shorter, the happier I am - much less fuss and takes less to care for it!). I'd like to shave my head someday just to see what it's like to grow hair completely out from bald, but that probably won't happen for a long time.