Does this count as sexual abuse?

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
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suomi
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Does this count as sexual abuse?

Unread post by suomi »

He always slapped my rear and touched all around my body. He made sexual comments about me. He had sex with his girlfriend while I was still on the bed with them multiple times. I'm just not sure how to categorize this because I know it was messed up, but I don't feel right calling this anything other than sexual harassment.
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Sam W
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Re: Does this count as sexual abuse?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi suomi,

I'm so sorry that person chose to do that to you. I want to start by saying that you are ultimately the one in control of how you choose to describe what happened; we can certainly give you our take on it, but you're the expert on your experiences and feelings.

With all that in mind, this does match the general understanding of sexual assault, particularly when it comes to repeatedly touching you in that way. Too, it sounds like he was functionally involving you in sexual activity you didn't want and didn't consent to by choosing to have sex while you were in bed with him and his girlfriend, which is also a MASSIVE violation of consent. Does that all make sense?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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suomi
not a newbie
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Jun 12, 2023 4:44 pm
Age: 17
Primary language: English
Pronouns: he/him
Location: United States

Re: Does this count as sexual abuse?

Unread post by suomi »

Yes! That makes perfect sense. Thank you so much for explaining this to me.
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Does this count as sexual abuse?

Unread post by Sam W »

You're so very welcome.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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