is it bad that i blocked her?

[lb07]

so.. uh, i just got done talking to some girl, we met on an app called [removed] or something like that, her profile said she was 14 and i’m 16. she asked me to move to instagram so i did, and we talked for a bit. then she asked if i liked sex, i said i never did it but i think i would like it, i know that i shouldn’t have said that i don’t know why i did. then she kept asking for nudes, i said i wasn’t comfortable and she just kept saying “just try, i’ll go first” and then she sent me a nude with her face covered, i kept telling her i wasn’t comfortable and she kept saying “it’s ok nothing will happen to you, just try it, send a photo of your boobs without face” and i got really paranoid because i know what could happen if i did. i just met this girl i didn’t trust her, so i blocked her eventually. like i said before she sent me a nude so i felt so bad for blocking this girl. did i do something wrong? was it wrong of me to just block her after that? i didn’t know what else to do

[Jacob]

I think this is a pretty clear-cut case of someone pushing you to do something you didn't want to do and you holding your boundaries. Which isn't easy to do, so well done!

Blocking someone is also something that you're completely in your rights to do whenever, to whoever. There are plenty of situations where it might give you a new thing to explain to a family member if you blocked them or a close friend, but it still isn't "wrong" per se.

In your situation though I'd go further and say this was the right thing to do. I would also have a strong suspicion that this person probably wasn't who they say they were and might have been sharing someone else's images illegally and without their consent, and that is definitely something we'd strongly advise you to get away from by blocking that person.

With you being 16 and them (claiming to be) 14 I'd also advise deleting those images immediately, as possessing them can be considered a very serious crime even if you didn't consent to receiving them.

[Jacob]

Just to add, I looked up the app that you mentioned and it looks like there are some serious concerns over its safety, so I'd probably avoid it in future!

[lb07]

ok i’ll stay off of it. and i deleted the images, i never saved them.

honestly i keep blaming myself, like.. i don’t know. i’m trying not to but it’s hard, i knew this was a dangerous app and i went on it anyway, i knew i shouldn’t have answered her question about sex but i did it anyway, i don’t know why i did what i did, i know it’s technically not my fault but it feels like it is

[Jacob]

Good to know they were deleted!

Shame or self-blame isn't a particularly easy thing to tell yourself not to do, because honestly it comes from a deeper place than just outwardly choosing not to. It's like telling yourself not to hiccup, the feeling still rises up and the thing happens again.

Really you deserve an inner place where you can feel safe and the voice of self blame isn't there ruining the peace. A daily practice of some sort which helps you connect with other parts of yourself such as your relationship with nature, or your love of music or meditation, whatever it may be, can be super helpful in that regard. Even if it's a tiny tiny part of yourself, it can grow. Is there anything that calms you and you can lean on when the self-blame is flaring up?

How do you feel about my suggestion of therapy in your other thread? Is it something you've thought of? Are there any fears you have around considering some kind of therapy which we can discuss?

I know for me, the fear of opening up to someone can be a biggy. Especially as I don't know how they'll recieve what I have to say.