Scarleteen

Hi.

I am 19, male.
I hope it’s ok to post here.

I have had 3 sexual partners since I became sexually active at 17. One was a one off.
The second was my first proper girlfriend.
We have split now (it was fine and mutual) I did really care about her and we had sex quite a lot while we were going out.
I did enjoy the sex, but neither of us were very experienced and I kinda felt like it could have been better.

I tried talkin with her about it, but she didn’t seem to be able to understand why I wasn’t satisfied fully.


I really get off on giving pleasure.

That’s what floats my boat.
I love the idea of giving oral and I’d like to try to make my partner orgasm as many times as possible before penetrative sex. I think it makes it better for me if I know they have enjoyed something I’ve done for them before any penis/vagina sex occurs.

My ex was really not keen on me performing oral on her. I was respectful and I didn’t pressure her, although I was honest and if she asked if I liked it said yeah I love it! I agreed always that I wanted to do it if she asked but she only let me do it a couple of times.

I guess she wasn’t experienced enough to sort of “teach” me how to please her - she would act shy and calm up if I asked her questions about what she liked. Even when using my hand/fingers.

I know movies and stuff are misleading about how easy women can cum…

And basically I am desperate to learn!

Recently, I had a sexual encounter with a much older woman. She was patient with me and answered my questions like “does that feel good?”
“How do you like to be stroked?” And stuff. I’m not trying to kill the mood and interrogate women - but I don’t see how else I can learn unless I ask?!
She also really liked receiving oral and I felt like I was in Heaven!

But… she knows my parents and doesn’t want to do it again. I think she felt bad about it which I was sad about as I thought it was great and was hoping she would teach me how to be better in bed with women.

So - I was hoping someone here can point a curious and eager to learn guy in the right direction? I don’t really have any close female friends to ask and I’m not about to ask my mum!

Hi there, Eagertoalearn- welcome to the boards!

Yes, it is okay to post here about this. You know, I think you've already started practicing some of the most important things you need to be a good partner in bed, like being respectful and taking the time to communicate. While it is true that you can learn skills in bed that you can use with different partners, there will always be a learning curve with every partner you have, because (stating the obvious) people have different preferences.

If you do want to learn something on your own, then perhaps you could read up on subjects like anatomy, and sexual pleasure:

Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More
With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

I understand you really want to learn about this (and that is good!), but I want to mention that you're not on a deadline to figure these things out. With more experience and some time, you will definitely learn the things you want to know.

Thank you very much for the reply.
I will read up on it!