how to be submissive alone as a single minor

[holdmegently]

im 14 and nonbinary, afab. ive really struggled with this for a while. i enjoy submission, sexually or not. it helps me cope, helps me stop thinking about my problems. i guess i dont actually need it, but it feels like i do

ive tried to be submissive on my own; i kneel quite often. it does help, a bit. ive tied my legs and sometimes wrists together with belts/scarves, its okay. i spank myself with various things around the house. but none of it really scratches the itch to let someone else take control.

ive read a lot of fanfiction and watched some porn, but it mostly just makes me sad. i talk on anonymous websites to people, but its very difficult to find someone decent.

and its very unlikely for me to find a partner or friend willing to do this for me; im homeschooled and shy. but maybe i will

anyway, my question is what can i do to feel more..submissive, alone? dont mention anything ive already said, please. and dont say that while i wait to find someone i can think about why i enjoy submitting, i already have. i know (mostly) what i like and dislike. i really just need suggestions to help..cope with things by submitting.

its always been incredibly difficult for me to cope, especially alone. any coping mechanism that works for me has involved other people. so please, please give suggestions. ill take anything

[Latha]

Hi there, Holdmegently- welcome to the boards!

I want to say that there is nothing wrong with you for wanting submission. It's good that it helps you relax and cope with things you're struggling with- in fact, many people like submission for those reasons.

Honestly, you're already trying a lot of the things I would suggest. For other things you could try... perhaps you could make a code of conduct of sorts, and reward or punish yourself based on how well you adhere to it. Or, since you're already watching porn, you could try listening to audio porn. As I understand, it is possible to find porn that is based on the idea of someone speaking to you and giving you orders- this may help with that itch that you mentioned.

Bear with me, but I want to talk a bit about safety for a moment, especially since a lot of these spaces that you're visiting may be intended for adults. You probably know this, but don't give out any identifying information, and don't send people photos- in some places sending or having such photos is illegal, and photos too can contain information that could be used to identify you. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason in these spaces, leave. I'm not saying these things because I think you're immature because of your age. Plenty of smart people can end up in bad situations because of people who try to take advantage of them.

[holdmegently]

thank you for responding !!

i have considered some sort of chart, and ill put more thought into it. and, yeah, i would love it if i could find audio of orders and stuff like that.

i do appreciate the warning, and i know u dont think im immature !! ill stay safe :3