Scarleteen

Sooo, I met a girl on discord. I've known her for at least a year at this point and after one random voice call, we started talking to each other sexually. We're both 18 and it's fun to do this stuff and I had the fantasy that we could have a sexual video chat. Basically that we would call each other and masturbate and she liked the idea. That being said, I would really like to know if/how to do this safely. I've tried to look this up, but whenever I see anything about sexual digital safety, it's just about nudes and most safety tricks don't work for a video call. So, any advice?

Hi anonym05,

You know, one starting place for this would be to do some digging into the advice that was written during 2020 when many people were in lockdown. There was a wave of articles about how to safely engage in remote sex with someone, including ways to protect your privacy. What if you and your partner read some of those together and figured out what you can each put in place?

Hello,

Like, I've mentioned already, it has been pretty hard to find articles about it. Most of the stuff I've seen was about the actual sex part or it was just "Trust your partner and do it on a safe site." Maybe I'm just really bad at searching things up or something idk and I just feel like asking some friends about it or something. I've mentioned the fact that we should think about the site we do it on and she just made a joke by being like "Do you want to do this on facebook or something?"I guess I haven't asked her whether she trusts me, so I guess that's something I could do.

Hi Anonym05

I think choosing a safe platform and making sure you trust your partner are some of the main points to consider, really. Use a secure platform that offers end-to-end encryption, like Signal. It's a good idea to talk to your partner- the two of you need to be on the same page about all this. Are both of you interested in video sex? Do you trust each other and the platform you're using? What are you interested in doing together? Have a clear conversation about these things beforehand.

Hello again,

I decided that we actually shouldn't do it, because it actually sounds really unsafe. Even nudes sounded kinda insane to me, so idk why I even considered doing this. I just feel kinda stupid rn.

Hi anonym05,

I'm glad you listened to yourself when this started to sound unsafe or overwhelming rather than fun! And there's nothing foolish or wrong about thinking a sexual thing sounds fun, then thinking about or researching it more and going "nope, I don't actually want to do that." In fact, that's a sign of someone who's taking their, and their partners, sexual safety and comfort seriously.