Scarleteen

Hey guys, I just wanted to get some clarification on antibiotics and birth control. I'm on Tri-Linyah and had to take antibiotics for a bladder infection from December 21-27. This was during the third week of my pill pack, the week before my placebo week. I started a new pack of pills on January 4th and have taken them within a 30-45 minute window ever since. Can I expect to have full effectiveness from my pills now? I went to the gynecologist for my annual pap smear on Monday and I saw a nurse practitioner instead of my usual doctor and she said I was covered but I don't know her well/don't trust her so I just wanted to double check. I always use condoms so backing up my pill isn't an issue but if my pills aren't effective I don't want to risk having sex.

Also - and I don't know if this is even something you all can help me with - but I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm in my early twenties and have recently started dating an awesome guy. We've become sexually active and I'm really happy... but I also have some massive anxiety about it. It's like my brain flip-flops between being excited and over the moon and looking forward to having sex with him to dreading it and wanting to crawl under a rock and cancel all our plans. I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for most of my life but it's never manifested like this before. Sex is usually something that relaxes me and that I don't feel worried about (I mean, there's been an occasional pregnancy worry but nothing major). Before dating my current boyfriend I was single and took a break from any kind of sex for about a year, maybe a little more. Previously, I was able to have safe, consensual sex without any anxiety. I'm not sure how to get past this. I want to have sex but my brain is making things so complicated. I'm not sure where exactly my anxiety is coming from. I don't think it's entirely about getting pregnant because I've talked to my boyfriend and he's said that if anything happens he is 100% supportive of my decision (abortion, adoption, or parenting). I think that some of it may stem from my mother's view of sex and sexuality as something dirty (for example, I didn't mention my bladder infection to her because she would have instantly accused me of having sex as though it was something gross). I've always been really sex positive and open about my sexuality but maybe her words have effected me more than I realized. I feel like by having sex I'm somehow disappointing my parents (something I do enough as it is). I just wish I could get back to being comfortable with my sexuality and I honestly don't even know where to start at this point. I never thought I would be having these kind of issues in my twenties.

Hi cyntsper,

So, for your first question, your healthcare provider is still the best person to get that info from. If you're not 100% sold on what the nurse told you, you can always just ask the doctor who proscribed the medication (also, kudos for using the buddy method on birth control )

As far as the anxiety goes, I think you might want to check in with a counselor (if you're not already). If anxiety and depression have been recurring things for you, this may be just a new way that they've decided to manifest themselves, and someone whose trained to deal with them might be able to give you some ways of combating that.

It does sound like your mom harbors some pretty negative attitudes about sex. It may be helpful to read some articles on our site (or other sites you like ) that talk about why sex is nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes, what we need is other people reminding us about things we already believe (especially if we're getting negative messages).

Also, are you doing much self-care right now?

Thanks for your reply! It's really hard to actually get in touch with my doctor (he's very busy, to see him it's a 2+ hour wait because he's also an obstetrician) so I think I'll go with the nurse's opinion or maybe call my pharmacist and double check with them.

I've been trying to figure out a way to get into counseling/therapy but I keep hitting walls and was hoping I could just try to cope. My copay for mental health services is $100/visit and I can't afford that. My college offers free counseling services but I live two hours from campus and take all my classes online. I've been considering calling some type of mental health outreach program but I live in such a rural area with a massive stigma against mental illness that it's difficult. I'm just going to have to be persistent.

I'm going to go look at some articles right now. I'm at work and I think that would really help me. I feel a lot better just actually typing my feelings and getting it off my chest.

Self-care?

Edit: talked to my pharmacist, she said I'm definitely covered starting with my new pack of pills.

Might you be able to figure out a way to get to campus just once a week?

I've thought about the logistics of that but it's a 4 hour round trip and even with gas prices lowering thats almost a full tank of gas (~30-40 dollars) in my car. :/ I work a minimum wage job that is seasonal and my income has dropped to a little over $100/week until spring. Hopefully I'll be picking up another job soon, but I'm graduating in May so the counseling would only be free until then. I'm applying for graduate school at a school closer to me and will be commuting... I assume that campus programs apply to graduate students as well, so maybe I could make that work in August. One option I do have is asking my aunt to help me which she would do but she's got a lot on her plate right now.

I'm sorry to literally just "think out loud" here when you all have so many other people coming through here with serious problems. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and offer ideas and support and for all that you do on this site.

Are there any remote options from the counseling center that you know of?

Self-care is, essentially, finding ways to soothe yourself or cheer yourself up when you're feeling anxious or sad (that are easy to access or build into your daily routine). It's not meant to take the place of mental healthcare, but it can really help if you find yourself in a stressful period and need a way to feel better. We have a primer on it here, and I think a few topics on the message boards deal with it as well:
Self-Care a La Carte

No, that's fine. Just figured I'd ask. And as someone who has to take a boat first to get anywhere else, I get that travel in rural spaces can be tough to work out!

Have you looked into any options with online counseling services? Since online access to things clearly works for you, that might be the most sound avenue for you to explore.

In the meantime, my friend Jaclyn Friedman wrote a book/workbook that I think might give you some ways to DIY some of this, titled "What You Really, Really, Want." Another that might be helpful is called "Sex Smart," by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod. That one focuses mostly on working through sexual attitudes we learned or lived with from our families. Both are available from most online booksellers, and you also may be able to find one or both at the library.

Oh my gosh, self-care sounds a lot like something that would be really useful to me. One of those things that you don't know you need until you know it's a Thing. I'm going to check that article out right now - thank you so much, Sam!

I actually was looking into remote counseling the other day but didn't see anything on the university website. I think it would be worth it to shoot the counseling center an email to explain my situation ask if it would be possible - the worst they can say is no, right? If that isn't an option, I'll look into counseling online. I know that I've seen quite a few ads for online therapy and maybe it would be cheaper. I know that there's an option in my state for urgent care online and it's only 35 dollars a visit.

Heather, thank you for the recommendations! What You Really, Really, Want is available as a Kindle book so I'll be downloading that now!

Enjoy it! I went through the final draft before it was published, and I think it is a really amazing resource.

Too, we have a counselor on our advisory board here who does do online therapy, and who we know is wonderful. I don't know her availability, but if you want someone to look into we know does this and is good people, you can check out her practice at: http://ronete-cohen-therapy.blogspot.com/