Scarleteen

Hello, I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to put this, but I don't know who else I can turn to about this, as I'm not sure how my mother would react if she were told about this. So, I (15, FTM) have a long-distance girlfriend (16, MTF) and we've been dating for nearly two years at the time of writing this post. Recently, we've been discussing the idea of sex, and have come to a conclusion that we definitely want to have sex with each other someday. She and I, however, have also been planning to meet each other in person within the next year or two, and I'm fully aware that one thing may lead to another, and we may end up having sex then. All I want to know is, what should I expect if this happens, how should I prepare myself for this potential outcome, how can I talk to my girlfriend about this, and am I just being paranoid? Thank you for your time, I hope this isn't a weird, strange, or overdone question, and I can remove this if it isn't allowed. Thanks.

Hi SkaMusic08, welcome to the boards!

Don't worry, this is the right place to ask these questions, they are good questions, and you're not being paranoid.

I think both of you are already doing the right thing by discussing your interest in having sex. Keep doing that, and make talking openly about sex a regular practice in your relationship.

You've asked about what you should expect if you have sex with your girlfriend- really, that is up to the two of you. In these discussions, you can and should discuss things like the pace you're comfortable with, what you would like to try together, what you need to feel safe and comfortable while having sex, and the activities that you are not interested in. This should give you a good sense of what to expect. Something else you should discuss in your sexual health, and how the two of you can prepare to have sex safely.

I understand how you can just get caught up in the moment, and how one thing can lead to another. But it is still important to be intentional about communication in such situations. When you have sex, make sure that you're checking in with each other. I promise, it can only make sex better, and it will keep anyone from getting hurt.

We have a few resources that can help you with these conversations:
Be a Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

P.S. Congratulations on two years with your girlfriend!