Scarleteen

ok so i know i shouldn't pursue this one guy. i know he'll only take advantage of me and i know i shouldn't try to pursue anything with him. but i can't. i can't seem to stop myself. help please!!

Hi Naurmi,

Thanks for picking this up after chat! So, as we've touched on before, the fact that this is yet another adult in a position of power hitting on you is a big part of why pursuing him is a bad idea (and why he shouldn't be directing any sexual or romantic comments your way in the first place). I really like the way Heather talks about having crushes on teachers or other people who it's not a good idea for us to act on our feelings toward here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... t_pursuits

I do think, given everything you've talked about with us, it might be beneficial to you to start or nurture places or activities where you can receive positive attention that isn't tied to men flirting with you. If you have other places where you feel appreciated, affirmed, or otherwise like you're getting positive attention, the easier it can be to remind yourself that relationships--including ones that those guys shouldn't be pursuing in the first place--aren't your only option to feel like people are noticing you. Can you think of some things in your life that would help you get that kind of attention?