Scarleteen

I'm a 13 year old guy. I notice at school most people are in some kind of relationship. I admit, I feel kind of....lonely....sometimes. When do people usually get a girlfriend?

Hi Matthew,

There's no perfect or correct time to start being in romantic relationships with people. Although what you're seeing is pretty common, and many folks start experimenting with dating in middle school. But, on the other hand, some people go through high school, or even college, without dating. It's all a combination of your own desires and the desires of people around you (e.g if your think someone is cute and want to date them, but they don;t feel the same, then a relationship won't happen. But if they do feel the same, then a relationship can happen).

Like Sam W says, there really is no perfect time to be in a relationship. There's also no age too old not to have had a significant other. You have to be ready, and there also has to be (at least) one person you want to start a relationship with. Forcing yourself into something because other people are doing it is NOT the way to go. I am a cis girl and I am almost 21 years old. I have never been in a relationship. I am a freshman in college and just starting to feel ready to date. Throughout high school I did not date for a few reasons. The most important one: I did not want to. Two other reasons were that there was no one that I really felt like taking that step with and also I wanted to complete high school and really focus on my studies and college applications before entering into a relationship with another person. Throughout high school, most of my friends (all girls) had boyfriends and girlfriends. Thankfully no one pressured me or made me feel uncomfortable with my choice. A few friends offered to set me up with their friends, but I politely declined.

If you are lonely, seek out support from friends and family- or if you feel it is serious, talk to a professional. Being in a relationship is a great way to share your life with someone. I would caution one thing. It is not wise to be in a relationship JUST because you want to stop being lonely. Being in a relationship is about sharing your life with someone, not requiring someone else to fill a hole inside you. That said, if there is someone you are attracted to on several levels, you feel ready (mentally, emotionally, etc), and you are entering into a relationship for all the joys you can share with your significant other, go for it!!! Also, if you are not in this place right now- don't go for it! and thats ok too!

I wish you luck and happiness!