Scarleteen

Hey! I recently found a friend who got me into ERP, and we've had a lot of fun with it. Though I've been really frequent with the physical aspects of it, and uh. I think I'm just. Really sore. I used to think "fuck you raw" was just a phrase, but now I sort of wonder if it's a real thing, lol.
How long does this last? I think it was just a frequency and roughness issue.. I was certainly think I was 'wet enough' so to speak, for that not to be a problem. Are there ways to make it more bearable?

Hi TristanJPercy,

It's good to hear that you're having fun! To my knowledge, such pain usually lasts a few hours and shouldn't last longer than a few days. Try to avoid having sex until the soreness is gone. You could take a warm bath or use a cold compress on the external parts of your genitals. If it hurts a lot, you could also take an over-the-counter painkiller. I hope you'll feel better soon!

Ok! thank you. It's still a bit tender, but a friend said something that sort of worried me, something about breaking my hymen? "popping the cherry", as they put it? Like. A day or two ago I gave it another shot because the pain went down, which ended in me bleeding a tad. The next day a bit of oxidized blood turned up as well. (It's not my menstrual cycle, I don't think.)
I'm still uh, not doing great and I spoke to them about it and that was the response. Should I be worried?

Hi there TristanJPercy,

I’m sorry you’re still not feeling so great. It sounds like maybe you needed a bit more time to recover before giving it another shot?

In terms of “breaking your hymen” or “popping your cherry”, there’s nothing medically factual about these concepts. Hymens - thin tissue tethered just inside the vaginal opening and attached to the vaginal canal - wear away over time starting from when a person starts menstruating. While vaginal intercourse can speed that up, hymens are elastic and don’t ‘break’. Some people with vaginas do experience some bleeding or burning as the tissue stretches (usually if the stretching results in a small tear), and while that can be somewhat painful for the person when it happens, there isn't a bigger medical issue that needs to be addressed. So generally speaking, there’s nothing to be worried about concerning the hymen specifically. Does that make sense?

More generally, though, if you find yourself continuing to experience pain and soreness after sexual activity, even when you were aroused and lubricated, then maybe taking more, longer breaks in between rough sexual activity can help address that; in addition to the suggestions that Latha made like taking a warm bath or using a compress.

Yeah, that's helpful, thank you!