i can only orgasm to my weird fetish and it’s affecting my sex life with my boyfriend
Posted: Sun Dec 24, 2023 1:50 am
i have this strange fetish ive had my whole life and for seemingly no reason, it wasnt caused by some core memory event as a child or anything, it’s just always been there. so i had never finished to anything but this fetish.
however almost five months ago i began my first relationship ever and he’s amazing, we’ve had sex a few times but neither of us can enjoy it yet, i get a sharp pain when he goes in a certain depth. i haven’t seen a gyno yet so this is just my speculation, but i think he hits my cervix when he goes in a certain depth because maybe i’m not aroused enough because i’m not actively watching porn of my weird super specific fetish? i always think i’m aroused enough as we’re doing it but i’m assuming it’s just not enough because it hurts really bad when he hits that certain distance in there.
other times when we’re just trying to pleasure each other instead of practicing having sex, when he fingers me or gives me head, i can never finish to it because i’m not watching porn of my fetish. this fetish isn’t something i’d like to engage with in real life, and he knows about it but he also knows i prefer to not talk about it because it’s weird and embarrassing to me. so he’s not going to use it while pleasuring me because i don’t want him to. ive finished only once with him and it was when i was grinding on him and picturing things relating to my fetish in my head. he feels really bad that i don’t finish much and he wants to be able to make me finish himself. i also feel bad, i just want to be normal and be attracted to normal things. i find him hot and he turns me on but it’s just not enough to push me over the climax to finish because i never used to watch porn of people just having sex or being intimate or even just things with naked men in them. recently ive tried diverging from the fetish to watch more normal socially acceptable porn and i can finish to it but it’s much harder and i just can’t really find anything specific in those videos that gets me going. i usually have to think about my fetish a bit while watching the normal porn if i want to finish.
i just want to be normal, should i continue using more ‘normal’ porn to condition myself to finish to that sort of thing and try to lessen and lessen my interaction with my fetish? i do not want to accept this fetish and/or embrace it, so please don’t recommend that as a solution!! i don’t even necessarily need to get rid of it, i’d just SOO appreciate tips on how to ALSO finish to ‘normal’ things.
however almost five months ago i began my first relationship ever and he’s amazing, we’ve had sex a few times but neither of us can enjoy it yet, i get a sharp pain when he goes in a certain depth. i haven’t seen a gyno yet so this is just my speculation, but i think he hits my cervix when he goes in a certain depth because maybe i’m not aroused enough because i’m not actively watching porn of my weird super specific fetish? i always think i’m aroused enough as we’re doing it but i’m assuming it’s just not enough because it hurts really bad when he hits that certain distance in there.
other times when we’re just trying to pleasure each other instead of practicing having sex, when he fingers me or gives me head, i can never finish to it because i’m not watching porn of my fetish. this fetish isn’t something i’d like to engage with in real life, and he knows about it but he also knows i prefer to not talk about it because it’s weird and embarrassing to me. so he’s not going to use it while pleasuring me because i don’t want him to. ive finished only once with him and it was when i was grinding on him and picturing things relating to my fetish in my head. he feels really bad that i don’t finish much and he wants to be able to make me finish himself. i also feel bad, i just want to be normal and be attracted to normal things. i find him hot and he turns me on but it’s just not enough to push me over the climax to finish because i never used to watch porn of people just having sex or being intimate or even just things with naked men in them. recently ive tried diverging from the fetish to watch more normal socially acceptable porn and i can finish to it but it’s much harder and i just can’t really find anything specific in those videos that gets me going. i usually have to think about my fetish a bit while watching the normal porn if i want to finish.
i just want to be normal, should i continue using more ‘normal’ porn to condition myself to finish to that sort of thing and try to lessen and lessen my interaction with my fetish? i do not want to accept this fetish and/or embrace it, so please don’t recommend that as a solution!! i don’t even necessarily need to get rid of it, i’d just SOO appreciate tips on how to ALSO finish to ‘normal’ things.