fingering

[thisisacoolsite]

so im abit confused. when i rub my clit i get so horny i cum pretty quickly then if i try to finger myself after that im super turned off and not in the mood anymore. am i supposed to rub my clit for a bit and not orgasm then finger myself? like im confused what im supposed to do first. or do i get myself wet first from watching something THEN finger myself or is it a must to touch my clit first??? im scared of doing it wrong and hurting myself lol.

[Sam W]

Hi thisisacoolsite,

So, it's not all that surprising that you're no longer aroused after orgasm and that inserting fingers into the vaginal canal is uncomfortable at that point; once someone reaches orgasm they enter a resolution stage of their sexual response, where arousal generally dies down and their bodies--including genitals--return to a "resting" state. You can read way more about that here: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide

The good news is, there's not really a way to do masturbation wrong, or any particular order you have to do it in. So if what feels good to you is to focus solely on clitoral stimulation, then you don't need to add internal stimulation into the mix unless you want to. Does that make sense?

[thisisacoolsite]

ok cool . i wanna finger myself tho so i can find out what i like before i have fingered sex with a girl, should i just rub my clit abit until im wet then try to finger myself? thxs

[Willa]

Hi Thisisacoolsite,

Did you read the resource that Sam provided for you? There is no one way to masturbate that is more correct, it is about doing that feels comfortable and pleasurable for you personally. If you want to experiment with penetration, then steps to make that a more comfortable experience for you may include first reaching a state of arousal through clitoral stimulation so the vaginal opening is lubricated and relaxed or even introducing outside lubrication such as lube. As well as taking your time and introducing the penetration slowly.

However reiterating what Sam posted, penetration is sometimes just not stimulating or arousing for some people and it is more pleasurable to focus on different ways of exploring clitoral stimulation. You may find that more pleasurable and can communicate that to a future partner, rather than forcing yourself to enjoy fingering in preparation for a possible future encounter.