Scarleteen

Hey, so I want to have sex but I’m anxious about how a penis will fit in there. I’m an 18 yr old afab individual (tho I'm a trans guy) and I can only fit one finger in my vagina so I’m wondering how it’s possible that anything bigger can fit. I’ve heard that the vagina fits to whatever is inside of it, but the hole looks so small and I can only fit one finger in, so I’m unsure how that can be true. I’m honestly just scared of embarrassing myself because I’m scared I’ll work up the courage to do it.. then not be able to do it in the first place. So I’m wondering if there is a problem, or if only being able to fit one finger is normal and somehow during sex it’ll be able to fit more. I didn’t want to post anything because I find this quite embarrassing, but I didn’t seem to be getting any direct answers by searching online.

Welcome to the boards, Usernamehere!

First off, I want to reassure you that there is nothing to feel embarrassed about. A lot of people, including many adults, have the same questions and concerns that you’re sharing, and many people unfortunately don’t receive comprehensive sex education or an opportunity to ask questions like yours comfortably. So it’s great that you’re reaching out and seeking this information for yourself!

Secondly, the vagina is a muscular tube, so it stretches to accommodate and then returns to its previous state. So like you mentioned, the vagina can fit whatever is inside of it. But certain conditions allow that to happen. Specifically, when a person with a vagina is aroused sufficiently, their vagina loosens and their cervix pulls up to allow for the comfortable insertion of an object. With that in mind, I wanted to ask under what conditions you’ve inserted your finger (or tried inserting more than one finger/other objects) into your vagina? Were you in a relaxed and aroused state? Were you sufficiently lubricated?

Sorry I posted this on my post rather than as a reply lol, so I’m posting it again because I can’t figure out how to delete the one I already made.

Anyways,

Thanks for the welcome!

I’ve only inserted my finger in my vagina after I’ve already been masturbating for a good minute or so (clitorally), so there is usually a lot of natural lubricant for me to work with, which again caused my concern. Honestly I theorize it might just be that with my fingers I’m trying to figure out how to insert two different things at once properly, as opposed to one uniform thing if that makes sense, but I’m not really sure. It doesn’t hurt for me to try and insert two fingers, I just can’t figure out how to get them past the entrance in the first place.

Hi Usernamehere,

It is possible that some of this is just about a lack of familiarity with that part of your body, or even the angle at which you're trying to insert your fingers. If you haven't yet tried it, using a mirror to help you see what you're doing and get a better sense of where everything is might actually help.

Too, as Nadine mentioned, arousal also plays a big role in how easy it is for things to be inserted into the vaginal canal. So if you're trying fairly soon into masturbation, or you're physically aroused but your mind is sort of elsewhere (bored, stressed, etc), it might be harder to get your fingers in than if you waited until you were extremely aroused.