Scarleteen

This past few months since that thing I asked about fingering we practiced safe sex because of that, I've sanitizing my hands and make sure I didn't touch anything to avoid any anxiety. But earlier as my teacher lecture goes on about family and relationship I realized that we shouldn't do things like those. I told her that we should stop and she thinks the same, I asked if she regret the things that we've done but thankfully she didn't. We decided to stop,hugs and kisses are enough for now since we're just teens. I don't know about my feelings rn I feel guilty that we did things like manual sex and breast sucking, I respect my gf and always asked for her permission before doing something but what should I do I feel some guilt or anxiety...

Hi Yohanz,

Given how much anxiety the sexual activity you were engaging in was causing you, I think it was a smart decision for you two to decide to scale back to things like kisses and hugs.

Can you tell me a little more about what that guilt or anxiety is connected to?

I think it's because I regretted those things and thought that we would be so much happier if we did those things after we finally fulfill our dreams and get married.

Also our lesson for this week at school is about family planning. The anxiety I felt because of that fingering (pregnancy scare for me) came back to my mind.

Hi Yohanz,

Of course, you can make educated guesses about what might make you happy in the future, but I wonder if your regret is tied up with the anxieties that you've mentioned along with ideas about the 'right' way to have sex.

Some people think that it is only okay to have sex when you are married, or that you have to be established in some way before you explore your sexuality. They might say that not following this timeline is bad, and that you are somehow missing out on something, or hurting yourself if you do things differently.

I don't think this is true. Holding off on having sex might be the right choice for you and your partner, but there isn't anything inherently wrong with having sex before marriage. You haven't lost your chance to be fully happy in the future by exploring sex now. You just tried a new activity and you realized that you were not ready- that is okay. You don't need to feel guilty, because you haven't done anything wrong. Does this make sense?