Scarleteen

I've been curious about trying sex toys for awhile now, but just last night finally got up the courage and confidence to visit the sex toy store near my college. I'd really like to try two different types of sex toys, a vibrator and something I can put my penis into when I masturbate so I can experience the feeling of penetration. (I've never had sex with another person before, so I don't really know what that feels like.)

The lady who worked at the store wasn't very helpful, though. She just kind of pointed in the direction of the toys and said "they're over there" before going back to reading her book. I browsed for about an hour, but there were so many choices, it was kind of overwhelming. Could you talk with me to help me figure out what kinds of these toys might be most enjoyable for me? I only have enough money for one of each, so I don't want to pick the wrong ones. Thank you!!

Hi FullOfQuestions,

The tricky thing is that, without being in a store with you, talking you through your options is tricky because there's so much available. Too, what sex toys feel good depends a lot on an individuals preferences and body, and sometimes there will be a bit of trial and error to find a toy you like (that's often why it's recommended to start with a less expensive toy so you don't break the bank on something you don't like).

If you're not able to get help at the store--and I might try again, asking specifically if they can give recommendations or help you find a specific thing--looking online can also be really helpful, especially at the website of smaller, women or queer owned sex toy stores. Those often have reviews you can read, or more detailed descriptions of toys or recommendations of who might enjoy them.

Ok. I'll try that then. Thank you!

You're welcome!

Hello, again! So I went back and tried the sex toy store again as you suggested, and I'm really glad I did. A different lady was working there today, and she was very helpful. I think she could tell that I was a little nervous, and she totally put me at ease. She had some open toys of every material and let me feel each one that piqued my interest, and she spent a lot of time helping me since I was the only one in the store. She was incredibly patient and kind. There was no shame. No reason for me to feel awkward. And she made me feel that buying sex toys to masturbate with was the most natural thing in the world.

In the end, I chose what is supposed to be a realistic looking and feeling artificial vulva/vagina that I could put on the bed and thrust into. Then she walked me through the dozens of vibrators and asked me if I saw anything that looked like fun to me. I pointed a few out to her, and then she spent the next 10 or 15 minutes helping me to make a selection.

I was so full of anticipation and excitement after I left the store that I could hardly wait to masturbate with both my new toys when I got home. The vibrator felt very pleasant, especially when I ran it lightly over, or gently pressed it against, my scrotum. The other toy was a lot of fun, too. Experiencing the feeling of penetration and thrusting into something while masturbating were both new and pleasurable for me.

I do have a couple of questions, though. When I stroke my penis manually, I don't stimulate my entire glans, just the edges where my glans meets my shaft because my glans is super sensitive. But when I orgasmed inside of my toy this afternoon, I think my glans may have been overstimulated. I mean, it felt incredibly intense on the one hand, but also a little painful. It felt like my glans was swelling up to twice its normal size (it didn't, I don't think, but that's what it felt like was happening), and it just kept pulsing over and over again rhythmically against the inside walls of the toy. It was just a little bit too much. When I finally withdrew my penis, I noticed my glans was an even deeper purple than it usually is when I am close to orgasm, and it was also a little extra swollen and sensitive. Otherwise, though, it seemed fine. (And it looks and feels fine now.)

What do you think about this? Do you think all this is just because the sensation and/or the toy is new or new to me? Do you think I'll get used to the extra intensity or that the intensity will lessen a bit over time? And do you think this has any implications for me when it comes to future PIV sex with a partner? Thank you!

It is relatively normal when trying a new method of masturbation for it to feel more intense, especially if you are newly directly stimulating such a sensitive area such as the glans. A good rule of thumb for masturbating is to focus on what feels good and comfortable, and if things become uncomfortable or painful to the point it is unbearable- it is best to focus on another method or area of the body for the time being. Another possibility could be insufficient lubricant with the toy, which would specifically affect the sensitive skin of the glans. I will also include a link to a source that discusses the refractory period for penises:
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... ory_period