Scarleteen

Now I’m not sexually attracted to men in real life, I don’t think I’ve really ever properly liked men and when I think about being with one I feel uncomfortable and it doesn’t make me feel good, I’ve always been with women (even though I’ve never been with either sexually) but I’m happy when I think about being with a girl and I love everything about them, but I’ve noticed whenever I masterbate I only have fantasies about men, and they’re mostly degrading types of fantasies, so I’m confused. I feel like I’m ‘faking’ my own lesbianism because of this and I’m not sure how to feel

Hi H0pefull¥,

A helpful thing to keep in mind about fantasies is that, even thought they can sometimes clue us into elements of our sexual orientation or things we might enjoy in our sex life with another person, they can also entail things that we have zero interest in ever doing.

Given that, if the people you're interested in being with are women, and lesbian feels like the word for your orientation that fits you best, nothing about these fantasies invalidates that, you know?

Thank you

You're welcome!