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Supporting him and her??

When you want support through something scary or rough, and help pulling yourself together and getting through, this is the place.
Forum rules
We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.

Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.

Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
Kela
not a newbie
Posts: 111
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2014 12:44 pm
Age: 29
Primary language: UK English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Cisgender and Straight
Location: United Kingdom

Supporting him and her??

Unread post by Kela »

Hi guys :)

so ive got a question for you all here at scarleteen...

this guy ive been seeing recently informed me that, although I already knew his mum was quite unwell, she actually isn't well at all, she has cancer. this was a bit of a shock to me, as you can imagine, and she is getting an op on Wednesday which will hopefully make her better.

however, im just looking for some help...luckily, none of my close family have been in hospital for anything major, so when he asked me if id go visit her with him the day after I said yes absolutely I would, but I find myself abit confused...I don't know how to deal with it, and im not sure how best to support both of them during this difficult time? obviously ive told him if he needs anything im here, but has anyone got any words of advice on how to help them both?

Thanks :) x
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9687
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: Supporting him and her??

Unread post by Heather »

Really, when it comes to how to help people, the best way to go is usually to just let them know you are available, and then ask them what you can do. They are the ones who will know what they need and what they are open to with a given person.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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