Scarleteen

Hi! Initially posted under a different section but thought it would be better applicable here but again, sorry if this is the incorrect area to post under!!

Quite new to this website/forum and it has been nothing but amazing getting to learn more about all things body and pregnancy wise. Always looking to learn more as I am constantly in my head usually after every sexual encounter I've had - which leads me to my question/concern (apologize if it seems silly, again, I am quite paranoid all the time about this type of stuff and want to "get it off my chest").

So a couple nights ago my girlfriend and I took a warm bubble bath together just to relax and enjoy each other's company. One thing led to another and I fingered her around 5 minutes in the bath tub (rapidly removing all the bubbles haha). I am unsure whether or not I need to be worried considering some precum could've slipped out of me before, during or after fingering without me knowing? I was no where near the final result of finishing/cumming in the bath tub while fingering her, just worried that the possibility of some precum got in the warm bubble bath water and that said warm bubble bath water maybe was able to carry any contaminants(precum) into her while fingering her in the tub. I;ve read all over that water + bubble bath(soap) could potentially render any sperm useless but once I realized this we immediately stopped and got out and have been in a constant "what if" mindset since. Quick side note, prior to this bubble bath session I did not ejaculate for over 24 hours and urinated many times throughout the day(idk if that matters though).

My main question(s) is/are... Am I being irrational, is this a valid concern, should she take EC that we have on standby? Would love some feedback/opinions on this matter - again, apologies if this seems silly/annoying question to ask, I'm fairly new to all this and have been reading up on some articles here on Scarleteen to better educate myself and my partner, which has been super helpful, but wanted to share my own experience.

Thank you!

Hi Darbby, Welcome to the Boards!

In general, pre-ejaculate has a very low count of sperm. In addition, sperm are extremely fragile, and can not survive outside the body for long. The combination of the temperature of the water and the soap from the bubbles would render an environment that would kill most of the sperm very quickly. The combination of these things makes it very unlikely for any risk of pregnancy to have occurred. Does that all make sense?

Hi Willa! Thank you for your reply!

Yes, that makes sense. Do you believe that any EC would need to be taken? Or do you think the likelihood is so low that there's no need for my significant other to take any EC? Been in a tizzy since this happened and constantly worried about the possibility.

Thank you for your help.

Hi Darbby,

No, EC does not need to be taken in this instance; for pregnancy to be a risk, there has to be direct contact between ejaculate/pre-ejaculate and the vulva or vagina, and that did not happen here.

Hi Sam!

Understood. So you believe there is no need to take EC even though there might've been a possibility the fingering in the water could have pushed any precum into her? Or there's just no risk and I'm being crazy? I know its a lot of "might have", "could have", "maybe" and "maybe not" with any precum in the water so I could be listening to my paranoia and or irrational fears but wanted to seek an opinion after find out about this lovely community.

Thank you again for all the help and assistance!

Hi Darbby,

Yes, as Sam said there were no conditions for pregnancy to have been a risk (direct contact between ejaculate/pre-ejaculate and the vulva or vagina). I am going to link a source for you to look at that will go into a more in-depth explanation of the fragility of sperm cells, and why the scenario you are worried about is not based on facts about sperm biology or life cycles. https://www.scarleteen.com/blog/patrici ... perm_cells

Do you often feel paranoia or irrational fear like this surrounding pregnancy scares? This is also something we can help discuss and work on if that is something you are interested in.

Thank you Willa, very appreciative.

And yes, honestly I have had a lot of irrational thinking/anxiety when it comes to sexual activities in the past and present. To take it a step further I feel like every time there is a sexual act, whether it is actual intercourse (using condom), taking showers/baths, or even just manual acts (fingering, BJ, etc) I try and recall all acts that were done to see if something may have gone wrong or a mistake happened. For example, in the scenario above, even though there was no intercourse and no climax that happened in the bath tub, my head instantly tries to recall everything that happened to see if there might have been a risk of pregnancy and if not then I maybe try to create one in my head and come to a conclusion that may or may not cause anxiety/pregnancy scare.

Apologies if that doesn't make sense but I do acknowledge the problem I have and sometimes at the detriment of my partner(causing her unnecessary stress when there is no reason to be).

Hi darbby,

Do you also feel intense, hard to manage anxiety around other things in your life? Or does it only seem to happen around things that are sexual?

Honestly mostly around sexual activities. There might be the one in occasion financial stress/anxiety but the one thing that I struggle with maybe 9/12 months of the year is anything that could pose an unwanted pregnancy, even if I use "safe-sex" methods such as condoms, manual only, etc etc. My partner and I have taken breaks here and there once the anxiety gets the better of me and I ended up worrying about nothing but every so often moments like the other day happens where one thing leads to another and I can convince myself I need to be worried. Apologies for the anxiety dump here, want to provide as much context as possible

That's actually useful context to have! So, I think it might be helpful to next read this piece: You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?. It addresses some of the common reasons we might have anxiety around pregnancy and suggests next steps. If you see reasons in there that feel like they apply to you, we can also talk about what you might be able to do to address those reasons.

Thank you for this - great read. The biggest reason that applies to me in this situation is specifically, "Manual sex (fingering or handjobs, and yes, this accounts for someone maybe or definately having pre-ejaculate fluids on their hands, something some of our users get hung up on)."

I read and reread the reasons of why there is no risk of pregnancy outlined in my post here above and also within the piece you kindly shared and I can't help but shake that anxiety or constant feeling of worry that steals any kind of peace or fun I might be having currently. I've never been specifically diagnosed with OCD, possibly due to my own choices of not seeking any professional help with mental health on the matter, however, could this be a reason as to why I can't help but to convince myself that there might be a problem and pregnancy could be a reality here?

It could be, but we don't have enough information to say nor can we diagnose you. It would be worth talking to a mental health professional about this since the anxiety seems to be causing you a lot of distress, and they can help you ease your anxiety.