How to get my mom to understand I'm not just in a 'phase'?

[shigaraki]

Okay. I'm a 13 year old born female. For the past few years I've known who I am. I'm not specific to anyone using any pronouns for me. I kinda like being called anything it's comforting. I'm also into all people in any spectrum as long as they have a good heart. When I came out to my mom 2 years ago, she said that she was happy for me, the proceeded to question me like I just killed her daughter. She's always wanted me to be her little princess. And I guess that me saying I was okay being called a guy didn't settle well with her let alone the fact that shes Christian and doesn't like that I'm in girls aswell as guys. Which is all I told her. She told me that it was just a phase and she thought that when she was younger to. But I'm currently in a relationship with a girl. And I'm happy. How do I tell her that this isn't just a phase and that this is who I am?

[Sam W]

Hi shigaraki,

I'm sorry that your mom hasn't been supportive of your identity, and that she's trying to invalidate your experiences with your own gender and sexual orientation. We can certainly brainstorm some ways to try and have a useful conversation with her about all this.

For starters, when she makes those comments about this being a phase, how do you usually respond, or how do those conversations tend to go?

(As an aside, I do want to point out that there are LOTS of Christian people, and denominations, that are affirming of queer people. So if she's trying to use her faith to justify her reactions to you, she's not actually on super-solid footing there).

[Lydia0001]

Hi shigaraki,

I get that you're trying to be your own person, but parents can be difficult like that, I can tell that she won't be conviced by just having one talk with her.

If you truly feel the way you're feeling you must be strong and SHOW that it isn't just a "phase", with time she'll start to see that "the phase" isn't just a phase.

I did this with my parents and they started being understanding about a year and a half after our first discussion, she is still skeptical but I stand proud and strong.

Hope things get better for you