Scarleteen

Is it considered sexting if I talk to someone about masturbation through text? Or is it against the law in any way? I get paranoid super quick & I was just wondering if talking about methods & masturbation tips with someone online, and if that is harmful?
Note: The conversations aren’t sexual, we are more just girls talking about girl stuff, yk? It’s nice to rant about female masturbation because no one talks about it.. + there is plenty of boundaries!
Another Note: There is NO pictures or videos being sent of us or our privates

I just want to make sure it isn’t breaking any rules.

I mean it makes that it isn’t because there are tones of boards on here that talk about masturbation just like the conversations me & this person have. I just need the reassurance, lmao!

Hi Ginger,

There is no one way to define sexting, but usually it is understood as discussing or sharing things of a sexual nature in the efforts to arouse both partners. What you are talking about seems more like just a discussion between friends about mutual experiences of sexual nature, which definitely is not illegal as long as everything is consensual between the two parties (which in this case it sounds like it is!) In life there are times we want or need to discuss sex and sexuality with trusted people in our lives, but that doesn't mean the interaction is inherently sexual or erotic if that makes sense. Sounds like a healthy moment of communication about something which can feel hard to talk about with the awesome addition of boundaries!

Would you like to expand on what is the source of this paranoia more? It can be hard to know something rationally but still have a fear or anxiety response that you feel you can't control, but thinking about the root of these fears can sometimes help us understand them more!

Thank you so much for the reassurance. My brain just tends to expand situations & ruminate over irrational things.

For example: Due to me meeting this person online, my brain obviously has a fear that I could be getting catfished. Or if somehow this person is someone I actually know and then they begin to leak these messages? GAH that is absolutely terrifying to me!! Truly and honestly there isn’t anything that could hurt me.. more just embarrass me, yk? But it’s all unrealistic because I have numerous reasons to believe why this person is who they actually say they are!
But this has me thinking.. that if I’m THIS anxious about a situation, I should probably distance myself. Especially if it’s sort of a gut feeling. But I also don’t want to stop myself from experiences just because of my anxiety.. Ugh yet again my body is giving me a signal that this isn’t 100% reliable or trustworthy..
I’m sort of torn & I just keep spiraling.

Hi Ginger,

Those are understandable fears. Since we can't control everything, there is always a chance that someone we trust could hurt us. But since you have reasons to believe this person is who they say they are, I think it is fair for you to trust your judgment here. Plenty of people develop good friendships online. Remember that, if this person did actually have bad intentions, it would not be your fault at all. You've done nothing wrong.

If this situation is giving you a great deal of anxiety, it would be okay for you to distance yourself. Sometimes, the way to deal with these kinds of anxieties to take small steps out of your comfort zone to see how you feel and give yourself evidence that you can handle new situations. You've done so, by talking to this person. If you need, you can still step back again. Slowly, your comfort zone will get bigger, and you won't feel like you're holding yourself back as much.

Wow! Thank you so much, I appreciate you guys.