Scarleteen

StephR wrote: ↑Mon Mar 25, 2024 10:12 am Hi Luna,

Ultimately, the only person who can tell what sexual orientation you are is yourself. I know that can be difficult to figure out. Our article The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone has a lot of good information about orientation and identity, but the section titled "How and When Do You Know?" has some questions that may help you make sense of the feelings you've been having. Remember that there is no deadline for labeling your orientation; lots of people identify as "questioning" or just "I don't know!" while they are figuring stuff out. Also, your feelings may change over time, so it's totally OK to choose a different term for your identity if you feel like it no longer applies to you.

How do you feel about all of this?

Andy wrote: ↑Mon Mar 25, 2024 1:20 pm Hi there, Luna,

that sounds like some intense feelings and I can see how they can make you feel confused.

If you try sitting with these feeling and for a while, can you trace them to some other emotions? As in do you feel happy or excited when seeing her or thinking about here? Or are you nervous, uneasy or ready to get away? Have you every experienced something similar in a different situation?

Andy wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 12:48 pm Thank you for the answers!

When you say it reminds you of the school changing rooms, it seems to me to be about being more exposed than you are used to around other people and being worried about what they might be thinking about you and if they are judging you. Do I have that right?

Also, coming back to your first post, when you say you are thinking about kissing her all the time, what are these thoughts like? Coming to you unexpectedly out of nowhere as an unpleasant surprise/hard to shake off/imagining other similar situations/nice daydreaming/... ?

Andy wrote: ↑Tue Mar 26, 2024 2:29 pm I’m sorry you are feeling worried about that, that can be really difficult.
Given all you have shared with us so far, I would say that your experiences sounds like one of the ways people can experience attraction. How does hearing that make you feel?

Would you like some media or resources recommendations about LGBT+ people and their experiences? Exploring those can be helpful when trying to figure out feelings about other people or around sexual orientation as well as helps battling the hateful messages around sexuality we sometimes hear from people around us.

Willa wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2024 8:11 am Hi Luna,

Thanks for giving more context for what you are looking at specifically! One source you could start with looking at is: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/rela ... ity_primer. I think this source can be a good starting place to look at to understand that these feelings and realizations are completely normal.

For telling your parents, are you looking for sources for talking about these feelings with your parents or are you more looking for a source that deals with "coming out" to your parents? Is there any specific thing you want to be prepared for when talking with your parents or just need help getting the conversation started? Either way it is perfectly normal to take all these feelings and realizations at your own pace, there is no timeline for anything- just what you are personally comfortable with!

• What do you want to happen in this conversation?
• What are you afraid will happen?
• Are those desires or fears realistic, or are they outlandish?
• What do you need to happen? To be heard, understood, or accepted?

StephR wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2024 11:04 am Hi Luna,

Our article Becoming Out: A Totally Non-Exhaustive, Step by Step Guide to Coming Out can help you develop a plan to come out to your parents. Specifically, the questions in the 4th paragraph:

• What do you want to happen in this conversation?
• What are you afraid will happen?
• Are those desires or fears realistic, or are they outlandish?
• What do you need to happen? To be heard, understood, or accepted?

The 5th section, titled "What Happens Next?" is about how you can handle their reaction. If there is a chance that they might get upset with you, you might want to have a plan in place to hang out with a friend or do something else away from your home for a while. Of course, we'll be here if you have any more questions, or even if you just need to vent.