Hard to orgasm; need advice!!!

[kirikirikiri]

I’m 19 years old, and for as long as I’ve been masturbating and having sex, I’ve really struggled with reaching orgasm. Things got easier with my current girlfriend, who is the only person who’s ever been able to make me cum, but it still doesn’t happen too often. I’ve only ever been able to cum while masturbating twice in my entire life! When I’m alone, I reach a point where I just get tired of trying and give up. When I’m with my girlfriend, vaginal sensation gets extremely intense and I feel very close, but when we keep doing what we’re doing, I just can’t too over the edge. It’s extremely frustrating and unsatisfying! Does anyone have any advice??

[Willa]

Hi kirikirikiri,

Firstly one frustrating thing about sexual response and orgasm is the more stress and pressure we put on ourselves to reach orgasm by ourselves or with a partner, the more difficult it is to stay relaxed enough to reach orgasm. This source can talk a little bit more about the details of how the body responds to arousal and how it reaches orgasm: https://www.scarleteen.com/read/sex-sex ... sers-guide.

Some things that you could consider is consider what kind of stimulation is most arousing to you and switch up or try new things within this realm. Some people find introducing things such as lubricant or sex toys a way to aid in reaching orgasm. There is no one catch all for orgasm and sexual response unfortunately, the best thing is to stay relaxed and to explore different types of stimulations, speeds, etc by yourself or with a partner you trust.