Scarleteen

Hi,
I am asking this question after reading as much as i could and seeing many instructional videos.
Usually my partner and i will have foreplay for some time and during this time, i precum a lot sometimes, like dripping from my penis. sometimes my partner give me oral which spreads the semen all over my shaft till the very base of the penis.
I am hard till this time always. but when it comes to putting on a condom, i get very anxious. First of all, i touch my penis atleast once till this time and so my hands have got some semen/ sperm in them. so i clean my hands with tissue paper and then put hand sanitizer in my hands, but i get anxious as to how much to put to effectively kill all the sperm. next i have baby wet wipes without any alcohol and i dont know if using that will help cleaning up or not. basically i am very anxious about some trace of sperm being left in my hand and since i am in a hostel where i cant go out to wash hands, i am always anxious.
So firstly i need help in making sure that my hands are clean. Can i use lots of hand sanitizer to make sure this happens?
next, i have seen multiple educational videos on putting on condoms and i feel like everyone of them contaminates the outside of the condom with some trace amounts of sperm accidentally without realising.
So i find it very hard and have to put a bit of a force to let the condom cover my tip of penis. and i checked , i am not using smaller size condom. pinching the tip while rolling down the condom WHILE MAKING SURE THAT MY FINGERS DONT TOUCH ANY PART OF THE PENIS TIP OR SHAFT EVER !! seems impossible. due to the oral, the semen gets spread all across the shaft so touching the shaft also might put the sperm in my hands and so ultimately outside the condom also. if i do this 100 times, there is bound to be some times when i touch some part of my penis inadvertently or so lightly that i dont feel it. Since even a trace amount can cause pregnancy, i have gotten very scared and limp during this time repeatedly.rolling down the condom in itself seems impossible to do without touching some part or the other of the penis.
Kindly help me understand what to do? is it just a practice thing? the anxiety of getting my partner pregnant is getting to me, even when she is extremely supportive.

Thank you so much for reading until here and im grateful for any replies/ suggestions/ resources that can help me.

Hi rahul39,

So, it sounds like the main issue here is that you have some misconceptions about what sperm can and cannot survive. If there is sperm present in pre-ejaculate (which may not always be the case; sperm is more likely to be present in pre-ejaculate if someone has ejaculated recently and not urinated since then), sperm cells are fragile. They're not going to survive being exposed to hand sanitizer or wet wipes.

Too, the only way pre-ejaculate poses a risk of pregnancy is if there is direct, genital to genital contact.

All that being said, if you're having this level of fear around pregnancy, your best bet is to stick to activities where you both understand and are comfortable with any risks involved.

Thank you.

You're welcome!