Scarleteen

Hi!

It’s me, and of course, this means I have a new crush, who I’ll call K (she/her), she’s 16.
I’ve known her for about two months now — we take the same classes together at school and we started talking after she emailed me a question.
I really like her, she’s cool, smart, kind, considerate, and has a lot of the same interests as me. I feel very emotionally-romantically attracted to her, but not as visually attracted to her as I have been to my other crushes. I really wanna tell her my feelings, but don’t want to go into a situation where I feel only partially attracted to her — this feels like the sort of opposite of a situation where someone is attracted to someone else mainly or almost entirely based on their appearance.

So very gay,
- AQ

Hi there, AQ!

It sounds like you have a great connection with this person! Here are some questions you can ask yourself: what kind of relationship do you envision yourself having with her? Would this relationship be sexual? How important is it to you that you feel visually attracted to your partner?

Maybe spending some more time with her will give you a better sense of whether this would be a good relationship. You could do this as a friend, or you could ask her if she would want to go on a few dates with you. That way, you will not start a relationship when you're not sure about your feelings, and you'll be able to spend some time with her in a romantic context.

Hi!
Thanks for the ideas — I wasn’t thinking of dates as a way to feel things out for some reason, (I keep thinking that you have to have your mind entirely made up on a person to ask them on a date, which I know isn’t true or useful but I keep thinking it).

- AQ