how do i ask my parents for a stroker?

[SillyMcGoof_]

howdy!! long time no see. after a while i decided that i should probably revisit this site and ask a question (after cringing at past posts ive made lmao)

my main issue currently is that ive been really really wanting a toy (specifically the fascination sleeve stroker by gendercat i think the name was) because my sex life is getting boring as hell bc im kinda limited with what i can do (chronic illness/pain havers rise up) and im scared to ask my parents for it.

i guess for additional context last week i accidentally came ALL OVER my bed and i was freaking out bc i didn’t wanna tell them the real reason why i was washing my bed stuff but i caved and eventually did tell my stepmom and she was really cool about it which made me wanna maybe ask for a toy bc i know they’re cool about that stuff but on the other hand im scared that they’ll tell me im too young or something and i dunno what to say to them either.

i also feel bad and hypocritical bc i feel uncomfortable and freak our when they even allude to them doing sexual stuff with each-other for some reason so idk.

technically i could just buy it myself once i get my debit card but its a teen venmo account so they can see what i buy so either way they’ll have to know.


idk what do i do? thanks in advance !!

[CaitlinEve]

Hi SillyMcGoof_

First of all, welcome back to Scarleteen!

Asking your parents for a sex toy can be scary and feel awkward, but it's a conversation that has been had between kids and parents time and time again so you're in good company!

It's nice to know going in that your stepmom is positive and cool about your sexual health. I think the best way to get into this is just to be clear with your parents; beating around the bush may lead to misunderstanding and miscommunication. They know you masturbate, even if that can sometimes be an awkward topic for people! If you're looking for a specific sex toy (like the gendercat you mentioned), make sure to bring that up as well because they may just assume you mean any toy and order one for you. Additionally, there's a lot of different options (including D.I.Y sex toys if you can't get your hands on a commercial one through your parents!

You could also suggest to them what you suggested here; that if they're uncomfortable buying you a specific sex toy, you can purchase it once you get your debit card/venmo. That way you'd be spending your own money but wouldn't feel the need to try to hide the purchase.

Good luck, and please let us know if you have any more questions or need more help!

[SillyMcGoof_]

hey caitlin!

thanks so much for the help! i’ll try to keep all of that in mind!!

i guess one issue im having is that part of me feels like it would be weird to ask them even though i know its not and i also just dont know how/when to bring it up and idk what specifically i should say, like if i should just be like “hey i want this can i get it when i get my card or can you get it for me” or something else.

[Andy]

Hi there SillyMcGoof_ , it’s nice to see you again!

I agree that it might feel awkward to talk about this, after all even without the added taboo that’s placed of anything related to sex or sexuality by the society this is still your first time having this conversation, and it might be your parents’ first time as well. But given how talking with your stepmom about similar topic went the last time, the awkwardness will probably be only momentary and could be worth the result for you.

As for how to bring it up, there is no single right way or a way that would make it totally awkwardness-free. But picking a moment when both you and your parent(s) have at least some privacy and time for the conversation can make it more comfortable for you to bring it up and for them to talk about it as well. You can try thinking back to when you told your stepmom about why you were changing the bed and what helped you in that situation.

And you can definitely tell them exactly that!

[SillyMcGoof_]

hiya andy! thanks for your input and i’ll keep all those things in mind!

im just worried they’ll say im too young for it or react badly mainly, so idrk how to ease that anxiety.

as for what i said to my stepmom last time, i basically said that i was doing hormonal teen stuff and i made a mess, so idrk how i would translate that into this situation. i guess back then being more casual and just spitting it out kinda helped? while also sorta scripting it out beforehand

[Andy]

I totally get these worries!

Things to consider could be if they have reacted badly in other situations and if yes, then what "badly" meant in those situation and lastly, if it were to go as badly as in one of these situations if that risk is a one you would be willing to take. How does that sound?

About the argument about being too young, it seems like they already recognize that masturbation is something a lot of people regardless of age do so there is a chance this understanding extends to masturbating with toys as well.

That’s a great observation, and it sounds like being casual without too much preparation beforehand could be helpful in this case as well!

[SillyMcGoof_]

the only “bad” way they’ve reacted in situations like this is mainly my mom telling me im too young for certain things so ig im just worried thats gonna happen but i guess it would be a risk im willing to take.

ill try to talk to them later and hopefully it goes well. do you have any ideas on what i could say to them specifically or how to word the question bc im a bit stumped on that

[Andy]

I think your example what to say from your previous posts is a good one!

If you are not sure if they have the time/capacity to talk with you at the moment you can start by asking them about that and then you can just tell them something along the lines "I would like to have this toy (you can include the reasons for why you want it if you want), is it something you can buy for me or should I buy it myself once I get the debit card?" . It may seem to be over really quick for something that’s a big deal for you, but if you or your parents want to have a bigger conversation, they can ask questions after that. Does that sound like something you can try?

Fingers crossed it goes well and let us know if you need any more support!

[SillyMcGoof_]

that sounds good!! thanks!

i guess one thing im unsure of is how i should like open or start the conversation. like if i should be like “hey can i ask you something it may be kinda weird and personal but hear me out” or something else entirely.

[Andy]

You are welcome!

This is again something where there isn’t one specific right thing to say, and I think your idea is great. It lets them know it will be a sensitive conversation so they can prepare for that and saying it might feel weird out loud to the other person often help us deal with the awkwardness as well!

[SillyMcGoof_]

alrighty! thanks!