my kink/fetish

[axolotlperson]

okay, scared asf to talk about this with anyone but gotta tear myself from my comfort zone. i have a pee fetish. it turns me on to imagine/do certain things, like see someone else desperate to pee, pee in things like a towel, stuff like that. i have a couple questions about it. first off, how and when should i tell a partner about it? even though i don’t plan on having any kind of sexual anything with a partner for a while, i can’t help but get anxious about “what if i wait too long and they get mad that i didn’t tell them?” or “what if they’re grossed out and leave me after months of dating?” second question, how do i accept this? i would never judge anyone else if they had it, but i know that it’s something thats not really normalized and considered taboo and gross, and while doing something taboo might help me get off in bed, i’m really terrified of judgement from other people when i’m not.

[Latha]

Hi there, Axolotlperson- welcome to the boards!

I'm sorry this is causing you to feel so much fear! Let me assure you of something: I don't think that you are bad or gross for having a pee kink. There are judgmental people in the world- people who are not educated about topics like kink. You do not have to listen to their opinions, because they are wrong. It is possible for you to find a partner who won't shame you for having this kink. In fact, it is quite possible that you'll find partners who share your interests in the future. Don't worry.

This is not something that you are obligated to disclose to a partner immediately. You can choose to tell someone when you trust them and are comfortable with them. A mature person would be able to tell you if they were not interested in a certain kink without judging you or getting mad at you for not telling them earlier. (Honestly, I think this level of maturity is a minimum requirement for having sex with other people.) If someone did do those things, it would be a good indication that they are not a good partner for you.

Also, you may be able to get a sense of a person's attitude about such kinks without actually telling them about yourself, by having a general discussion about kinks and sex.

Does this make sense?

This article of ours has a helpful list of steps you can take to work on undoing shame about your sexuality.