Scarleteen

this shit HURTS. does it do that forever? is that just a me thing? I cant fit more than a digit in there semi-comfortably and two starts stinging real bad. I tried getting three in once and holy FUCK that shit hurt. that, and my fucking cervix is at most two, three inches inside. my vagina doesnt feel like a tube, it feels like a weird liminal space about the size of a small water balloon, with a ton of weird, unidentifiable firm parts (at least three or four, which im pretty sure is too many) not to be brash but can I feel my shit from my vagina? because its either that, or I have too many firm bits. and the cervix feels exactly like an asshole, and why cant I feel jack shit inside there, and why is everything numb and also painful, and NONE of it feels even remotely good, which is probably because of the medication im on, but damnit I didnt expect there to be NOTHING down there! its not even good enough to feel frustrating that I cant come, its just boring! masturbation isnt supposed to be boring! I dont get it! and im on my period, and very confused and this probably sounds rather rude sounding, so I apologise for that, youre all very sweet, and help tons of people every day and just thank you and oh my fucking god I hate hormones so much now I feel like im going to cry. wow, this way alot longer than I meant for it to be, sorry about that. the main point is that the enterance to my vagina cant fit jack shit, and what the fuck is going on.

Hi there Shoelaces99,

No need to apologize I appreciate your zest for figuring out what’s going on, and I hear you that these things can be confusing and overwhelming sometimes! Too, it’s totally okay to experience big emotions while you’re getting to know your sexual anatomy. All that to say, no worries here!

When exploring vaginal entry for the first time, you’re stretching the tissues of your vaginal opening and may feel that stretch — but sometimes that stretching feeling can become painful when there’s too much of a stretch at once. So, when one finger feels good, but two starts feeling painful, maybe stop with one for now, until that feels fully comfortable, and slowly work up only if you feel comfortable doing so. As a general rule of thumb, when masturbating it’s best to follow what feels good, and stop when something feels bad. Too, things like making sure you’re relaxed, aroused, and well-lubricated are super important for vaginal entry to feel comfortable and pleasurable. Does that make sense?

On the cervix: indeed, the vaginal canal is shorter than some people *may* think, and it does vary from person-to-person, but the cervix can actually “move” a bit during different points of the menstrual cycle, and it can feel like it’s closer to the vaginal opening. Too, there are certain positions you can sit in that makes the cervix feel closer, so that may also be in play. As far as the cervix feeling like the anus though, the cervix does have a small opening that leads to the uterus, kind of like an anus, and indeed the cervix can be sensitive like an anus too!

On the firm bits you’re feeling: you may be feeling your g-spot (or multiple), or you could also be feeling some other parts of your internal anatomy if you’re pressing rather hard. We have an article that may help you visualize a bit more of what you’re feeling too: Innies & Outies: The Vagina, The Clitoris, and More! Too, the vagina may not feel much like a tube as it looks in diagrams, as more of a passage or soft space.

Last, but not least, I hear you when you say that masturbating just isn’t feeling like what you expected. I would say that there should be no pressure to “masturbate now” or any time it feels boring, painful, or just not good, but there are things you can do to make masturbating feel more pleasurable, including engaging with fantasies or media, and exploring different parts of your sexual anatomy, like your vulva, clitoris, etc.! Here’s a resource on it too, in case some other strategies for masturbation might be helpful: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation

Woo! Long, long answer, but looking through all that, do you have any questions about any of these resources or ideas?