Scarleteen

so my gender has always been back and forth, nothing quite feels right kinda thing. fairly recently i settled for all pronouns, but i still don’t know what gender identity would fit best (if any). the best way to describe what my gender feels like, is everything. basically, i AM gender. i feel like male, female, and everything in between. it doesn’t really fluctuate, so i dont feel like gender fluid fits, but i don’t know if there’s a name for this.

Hi Axolotlperson!

I hear you when you say your gender has always felt kind of back-and-forth, but I want to reassure you that feeling changes in how you feel about your gender identity is a normal process, and indeed, gender identity is often something that expands, evolves, and can change over time. It’s sort of about the journey, more than the destination in this case.

Too, as you are the expert on you, nobody can tell you what to call your gender identity, and there should be no pressure to feel like you need to give a name to your identity, unless you want to. The language we use to talk about our identities can help us feel comfort and self-knowledge, but it is not a requirement to having an identity, if that makes sense.

I would say, too, that there can be a lot of joy in this process! Here’s an article I really love when it comes to gender identity and feeling sort of in-flux: Gender Confusion: Being Unsure Doesn’t Have to Be a Bummer

How does all of that sound?