rant abt unrequited crush

[staysoft]

i'm not asking for advice here really (although if you have it i'll appreciate it!) but i just need to rant.

so there's a guy that i've had a crush on since late 2021, so abt 2 1/2 years which is insanely long and for a while it was really not a big deal that i had a crush on him but we've become really good friends, even best friends maybe and he doesn't have a lot of friends, and over time this crush has gotten more intense.

i say best friends maybe because we've gotten really close, to the point where i thought he reciprocated my feelings because i was flirting and being just really obvious about it (or i thought i was) and then he would reciprocate that behaviour and flirt back and whatnot. it just seemed like it was going somewhere and that he liked me back and i was going to tell him i liked him and i thought we might get together over summer.

but i was never really sure what his sexuality was and then a little while ago i asked him about it and it turns out he's straight (i'm a guy). and i was pretty upset but obviously he can't control that and i've come to a place of acceptance, and i was going to still tell him about my feelings but obviously knowing he doesn't like me back more as a sign of our friendship.

but now clearly he sees me as a really good friend and he's started telling me about this girl he has a crush on. and i really want to be supportive because i know i'm probably the closest friend he's got and it seems like it's been a big deal for him to open up abt it and i don't want to undermine that or shut it down, i want to be there for him as he clearly wants me to be but it's so frustrating!! i feel like i can't tell him about my crush now or at least for a bit because now he's got this crush on another girl and it'll just make things awkward. i want to be a good friend and support him but now i also feel like i can't get closure on this crush and i never got to properly like have that moment of telling him and then having some space and then moving on as friends. and worse i know it's one of my friends or at least someone i know.

i sort of want to be angry at him but he's such a lovely guy and he really hasn't done anything wrong. i still like him platonically and want to stay good friends. and we're only going to be parting ways shortly in the future as well so i don't want to like have distance from him now when it's the last chance i'm gonna get to easily spend time with him. so all in all just a mess really.

[CaitlinEve]

Hey staysoft!

That sounds really frustrating and I'm sorry you are having to deal with it. I can't really think of any advice that's mindblowingly amazing, but I want you to know you are heard and that you can feel free to vent/rant here about it!