Scarleteen

Hi Jay- yes, your last post came through, and I've left a reply!

There are a couple things that could be causing this- the first ones I'd consider are friction, which can cause small tears that bleed, and infections. Has your girlfriend mentioned any other symptoms? And has she said anything about how she wants to address this?

No she only said bleeding after sex only

Are you two using lots of lubricant, both before and during intercourse? Are you both also up to date with your sexual health screenings?

No we do not use lube the only lube we use is the condom ig you could say and when I finger her hard it happens to

Hey there Jaylen23,

As Latha said, bleeding during sex can occur when there’s too much friction and not enough lubricant, which can cause small tears in and around the vaginal canal. It’s really important to make sure both partners are aroused and prepared for sex before sex starts, including making sure you have enough lubricant.

Lubricated condoms have a really small amount of lube on them compared to how much is often needed for comfortable and pleasurable sex. It can help, too, to use lubricant before sex as well, reapplying as needed during the activity — and you can typically find lubricant in the condom aisle too!

When you say you’re fingering her hard, is that something she’s asking you to do? Sometimes it can cause tears, and often pain too, to insert quickly and vigorously without slowly prepping the area first. On that note too, have you tried adding more foreplay into the mix before any insertion?

I mean idk I kinda just do it depending on the mood of us like when we start I’ll go slow then speed up as time goes on

Ah, I hear you!

It’s definitely good to start slow, as you’re doing already. Exploring other areas of the vulva before vaginal entry may help as well — and if you’d like more resources for foreplay to make insertion easier, we can send those along to you. Moving forward, I would also ask her if she wants to be fingered before doing so, especially if she’s been bleeding afterwards. How does that sound?

Also, I know Heather asked, but are you both up to date with sexual health screenings?

Yes we are

That’s good to hear!

So, referring to the previous posts, it seems like your next steps should be trying using extra lube and talking with your partner about the way how she wants to be finger. How does that sounds?