How do I know if I’m orgasming?

[peach]

I feel embarrassed that I even have to ask, but how do I know if I’m orgasming? I’m 19 (AFAB) and I’ve only recently begun masturbating and thinking about myself as a sexual being. I’ve never been in a relationship or even had crushes before and not particularly interested in having intercourse. But when I touch myself, I don’t get wet, like at all, even when I know instinctively that I’m aroused when fantasizing about certain scenarios. When I stimulate my clit, the only feeling I get is this weird feeling in my stomach and not much else. And I don’t feel like I’ve ever experienced an orgasm in a way that’s described in the research I’ve done. The only thing that happens is a need to pee and feeling worn out somehow…? Is that it? At this point, I’m confused as to what an orgasm even constitutes.

[Latha]

Hi Peach, welcome to the boards!

You don't have to be embarassed! Plenty of other people have asked this question, because the answer isn't actually obvious. As I think of it, orgasms are usually preceded by an increase of tension in the body, and orgasms themselves can feel like a release of that tension. This can feel quite strong or fairly weak. People can experience different kinds of orgasms in their life, so if you are in fact experencing orgasms now, that doesn't mean this is the only way you can orgasm. Does this make sense?

Since you've started to masturbate pretty recently, it may just be that you need more time to explore your body and connect with it. For many people, it gets easier to feel pleasure and reach orgasm as they spend more time learnng about their body.

I have a question: have you tried using store-bought lube to help with lubrication?

[peach]

Hi, thanks for the explanation! I had this preconceived notion in my head that orgasms would be obvious and I would just know when I’m having one, so it’s good to know it’s not just that simple. To answer the question, I haven’t really experimented with anything other than my fingers when I’m masturbating, and even then I don’t really finger myself because it felt both overwhelming and kinda nothing at the same time the first time I tried it. Would you recommend using lube for that?

[CaitlinEve]

Peach,

Yes, we would recommend using lube for that, if that's something you're comfortable with! Honestly, any activity in which you are having trouble producing personal lubrication is a good situation to utilize products made specifically to help. Don't feel ashamed to purchase or use it either; it's completely common and normal!