Scarleteen

hi,
last night i had a sexual encounter with my boyfriend
the thing freaking me out is he put a condom on, realized it was the wrong side, and flipped it to put it back on
just as he was about to penetrate me, i told him to stop - so technically we didn't have intercourse
there was no rubbing and ultimately no penetration
his genitals might have made brief contact with mine (but it didn't go in at all - i hope this makes sense)
what's ticking my anxiety off is that there might have been a bit of precum on the condom, i'm not sure
i'm tryna get my hands on plan b pills but they don't sell it over the counter here in indonesia
i've ordered some online but it might take a day or two to arrive
there's another one i could order but i needs a doctor's receipt and i don't have the money to go get a doctor's appointment
can scarleteen help me find plan b pills? am i being too anxious?

Hey naurmi008,

It sounds (from this post as well as your last) that you have a lot of anxiety that revolves around the idea of pregnancy, which isn't uncommon and is understandable! Unfortunately, since they don't sell Plan B over-the-counter in Indonesia, we likely can't help you find any that would arrive before the one you ordered will.

In the past, we've given you resources to help with that anxiety. You can review this article to affirm to yourself that this situation does not pose a threat of pregnancy either, so Plan B isn't physically necessary in this circumstance. It won't hurt you to take it when it arrives though, if you'd like to take it for reassurance/mental & emotional health. But it may also benefit you to keep it for the future should you have another scare with more of a tangible risk of pregnancy.

It's important to develop a way to cope on your own, such as keeping this resource handy when you have anxiety spirals, so that you aren't stuck in a situation where you have no support and can't stop panicking. What do you think would help you the most in the future, if you have another scare?

hi, i've read the article and it's definitely calmed me down
could you elaborate on why plan b isn't necessary? i thought that it might've been since there potentially could have been contact with precum
and i think having plan b pills on hand or being on birth control would help with my anxiety in the future

I'm glad the article was helpful!

If this was the same incident you brought to chat, then from what you're described, it just doesn't sound like there was a risk, especially since if there had been genital contact, you'd likely have noticed.

With birth control other than condoms, is that a conversation you're comfortable having with your parents so they can help you navigate the healthcare system to obtain it? Or do you think you'll need to navigate that process on your own?

hi!
my plan b pills arrived today and i took them a few hours ago and right now am feeling a lot calmer
i feel like i might have been overly anxious and the plan b pills helped with it a bit
a pattern i've noticed is that i start overthinking waaaay too much and my mind starts twisting reality and making things that didn't happen feel real (if that makes sense)
i was wondering if the plan b pills might have any side effects i'd need to look out for

and as for birth control, i definitely can't bring it up to my parents. they do NOT know i'm sexually active right now. i know if anything happened i could go to my mom about it but i just don't think she'd be supportive of me being sexually active at this age

I'm glad taking Plan B helped you feel a bit better. There are some side effects, you can read about what to expect here: Birth Control Bingo: Emergency Contraception.

So, I do think that the fact that your being sexually active isn't something you can be open about is another point in favor of continuing to take a big, big step back from engaging in anything, especially since you know doing so is still causing your anxiety to flare up. Have you been able to get any formal support around anxiety lately, whether that's been temporary or part of longer term work with someone like a therapist?

unfortunately i have not been able to get any professional help around my anxiety, my mom pointed out that she thinks i might have ADHD and i might try to convince her to get me properly diagnosed and use that opportunity to also talk about my anxiety to a doctor
but in all honesty idk if this plan will work out, my parents are pretty against getting professional help when it comes to mental health

If your mom has been the one to express that she thinks you may have ADHD, then it seems like she might be the one to have this conversation with to start? If only because if she's noticed that, she may be open to having you speak to someone to get support and/or a diagnosis. Would it be helpful to talk about how to have that conversation with her?

yeah i do think it'd be helpful! hopefully she's open to actually getting me help this time

Okay! So, how does it sound to you to present this to her the way you've been presenting it to us? That is, by explaining that the symptoms of anxiety get so bad it stops you from being able to function. Too, if she thinks you have ADHD, that suggests she's noticed something in your behavior that makes her think that, potentially something that's lead her to be worried about your wellbeing.

It might also help to know what's behind her reluctance to involve a professional, and whether those are material things like cost, or her beliefs about it not working, not being for your specific situation, etc.

hi!
are there any forms of medication that reduce the effectiveness of plan b pills?
im currently sick with a sore throat and a fever but idk if paracetamol will play a role in reducing the effectiveness in the plan b pills i took

We actually have an overview of what does, and does not, influence the effectiveness of hormonal birth control! Something You Can Worry About Less: Interference and Hormonal Birth Control

Have you been able to talk more with your mom about therapy?