Is 'death grip syndrome' really a thing?

[olivercuellar]

I discovered that I can only have an orgasm by myself, and in one way only. I have almost no sensitivity during sex, whether vaginal or oral. I decided to do some research and found out about the "death grip", where people claim that by stimulating your penis in a tighter way, you may not get used to the sensations of a real body, like the vagina, for example. Is this real?

[aarija]

Hey olivercuellar, welcome back!
From your previous posts, I can see that you are struggling to orgasm when being stimulated by a partner. That can feel very frustrating and you’re not alone in experiencing this.

I’m glad to hear that you’ve been doing your own research, and I understand the temptation to place a label on what it is you’re experiencing. There is no sound medical research to support the theory of a ‘death grip syndrome.’ If I’m being honest, the theory’s popularity is likely a part of the trend to villainize masturbation as something detrimental to other bodily functions.

That being said, our bodies can be creatures of habit. If you have been using just one method of stimulation to reach orgasm for an extended period of time, achieving the same result using other methods may not be as simple as we’d like it to be. I encourage you to diversify your masturbation routine - perhaps shifting focus away from the genitals and stimulate other parts of your body.

I know you understand that orgasm is just one part of sex and this applies to masturbation as well. Keep in mind as you introduce your body to new forms of stimulation, both with and without a partner.

How does that sound?

[Heather]

I also want to add that masturbating when with a partner is a very common sexual practice.

So, it may be that a route for you to be able to learn to experience orgasm with a partner is to at least start by going ahead and incorporating masturbation as part of the sex that you have together. It can be fun and exciting for partners to be part of each other's masturbation and/or ejaculation, and you may not only find you and any of your partners enjoy that, but learning to orgasm with someone this way first might provide the piece we most need to be able to orgasm with other people, which is the ability to let go and let it happen in front of or with someone else.