Scarleteen

hiii um so i had sex two days ago now and it was lowkey super dry (which i regret… i’ve learnt my lesson) and we stopped cuz it started to hurt and feel uncomfortable for me. then a few hours when i got home i noticed a bit of pain and i noticed a small tear i think ? it doesn’t hurt anymore tho but im still making sure its clean. anyways, since yesterday i’ve been feeling pain that’s like a uti, but i know it isn’t because i don’t think it’s something id get from sex ? and it wasn’t our first time / i know he doesn’t have any stds or anything . but basically every once in a while my vagina will hurt a bunch like the feeling of needing to pee even after i do so . i thought it’d go away after a day but it’s been coming and going for two days now i live w my parents so i def don’t wanna get them involved and go to the doctors … my plan rn is to just drink a ton of water and get some cranberry juice and thug it out.. i just wanna know if this is something i should be super worried about and also when i can expect it to go away . i already told my bf cuz usually we lube up with just some spit and it’s fine but i realized he didn’t this time so.. yeah

Hi Maxipad101!

It is good that you stopped once you were feeling uncomfortable! I think you are on the right track for dealing with that tear- if it isn't bleeding, you can continue to treat it gently until it heals. When you say you know that your partner doesn't have any STIs, is it because both of you have been getting regular checkups?

It's true that UTIs are not sexually transmitted, but you can still get a one as a side effect of sex - bacteria can be introduced to the urinary tract during sexual activity. Staying hydrated can't hurt, but you should consider seeing a doctor in case you need antibiotics. If I may ask, what would happen if you asked your parents to take you to a doctor?

Getting lube could really help with the dryness and friction that you've mentioned - spit can only do so much. You could buy it, but there are also organizations in your state that offer free condoms and lube. You can pick them up at many sexual health clinics, or you may be able to have a discreet package sent to you or your partner. These websites can help with the latter:

• Help Center Texas Condom Shop

• Texas Wears Condoms

• Nice Package

not regular checkups, but just cuz in the past few months of us being sexually active, this hasn’t happened before. also we use condoms so i feel pretty confident that i don’t have a disease i think and my parents won’t take me to the doctor unless i have a valid reason but im sure i can come up with something if i need to…

Hey maxipad101

I understand not wanting to get your parents involved - it can be stressful! However, if the pain continues to persist today, I would recommend a visit to the doctor. An UTI left untreated can turn into a much more serious kidney infection. Cranberry juice is a great method to prevent infection, but it won't eliminate an existing infection and if you're on day 3 of experiencing pain, it is best to be on the safe side and get it checked out.

Just to clarify, you and your partner have had an STI check up in the past few months of being sexually active? If you're going to the doctor, it can't hurt to get an additional screening as well.

Hi maxipad101,

I'd add that, if this pain isn't going away or is getting worse and you need to check in with a healthcare provider, we can help you navigate that conversation with your parents. For starters, a UTI isn't automatically caused by sex, so even just saying "I think I have a UTI and I need to see someone about it" would be enough to indicate what you need without getting into a bigger conversation about sexual activity.