Scarleteen

I recently lost my virginity to my bf (Im 16f) and I have many questions. We had planned this weeks before BTW. It wasn't a bad experience but I think we made a mistake which made it hurtful in the beginning and also not pleasurable. So, we didn't really have foreplay, which I've read is important for your first time. We just started making out and then I went down on him because I really wanted to try giving him head. Once he was done, we had sex. It did hurt when he was putting it in at first, but a couple of minutes later, it felt fine. But my question is, why did I not feel pleasure? We did a few positions but, I didn't feel as good as I thought I would. I don't know if I was just tense, in my head about it, nervous, or was that just because it was my first time? I was unintentionally moaning during it so that must be a good sign, right? I just want to know if it eventually starts to feel "good". I've asked my friends and they all say it takes a while so that gives me hope!

I recently lost my virginity to my bf. It was a nice experience but i didn’t necessarily feel “pleasure”. It wasn’t bad either. Is this normal? Does it start to feel good eventually?

Hi Veronica37111, welcome to the boards! I’ve merged your posts to address them together.

I can’t say for sure why you didn’t feel pleasure, but you’ve listed a few plausible reasons. The fact that this was your first time and that you didn’t do much foreplay could have contributed to you being tense and nervous, and those are not the best conditions for pleasurable sex. In good news, it is very likely that you will feel more pleasure from sex in the future. For one, you and your partner will probably have more experience — that means better skills and more knowledge of what actually feels good for you.

I do have some advice: Consider using lube if you aren't already — it reduces friction, and thus pain. The next time you try insertive sex, you could try to include clitoral stimulation. Many people find that this is more pleasurable than vaginal stimulation alone. And as you know, it is also important to engage in foreplay. Doing so before PIV sex may help you feel more aroused, and less tense and nervous. (That said, remember that these activities are pleasurable in their own right — they are not just a prelude to 'actual' sex.)

If I may ask, is masturbation pleasurable for you?