For users asking about pregnancy risks that are not.

[Heather]

We need to set and hold a hard limit with people asking us to explain, again and again, and at a level of detail that is simply unreasonable, how things that do not pose pregnancy risks just don't. It simply eats up way too much of our time and energy, including time and energy we need to spend on users who have had real risks and need help managing those real risks. It also is almost always completely nonproductive or counterproductive.

This means that we are asking you not to go there or keep asking. Respecting limits like this doesn't mean you keep pushing, paired with apologies for knowingly pushing against a limit you know we have set, and we keep reminding you. It means you see this, or any limits we state directly in an interaction with you, and you accept and respect it right at the gate. Just like if someone said no to sex the only right thing to do would be to accept it, not push, apologize, and push again.

I want to add a personal note here. I have spent a considerable portion of my four-and-a-half decades of life doing everything a person can to assure that no one becomes pregnant who does not want to be. Between doing all the work here I have done in creating content and counseling users, going above and beyond when I worked in abortion to make sure those leaving had birth control methods they could use, political work for reproductive choice, perhaps you can understand how bizarre it would be for me to do anything that undermined all of that time and energy, and all of the sacrifices I have made to do some of this.

I assure you: if there is ANY way a person can become pregnant from something, neither myself nor any of the staff or volunteers here are going to tell you it cannot. If we say something is not how pregnancy happens, it is because we have absolutely no reason -- and based in an awful lot of work and study: based in facts and realities, not fears or hearsay -- to believe pregnancy is possible. Again, both myself and everyone here is deeply dedicated to doing everything we can to assure no one becomes pregnant if and when they do not want to be. If we say something does not realistically pose pregnancy risks, it is because we know, without doubt, and based on facts, it does not. We would consider it highly unethical and irresponsible for us to put users at risk of pregnancy by misinforming them about what can and cannot present a risk of pregnancy.

If you don't or can't trust us in that respect, you certainly have that right and we respect that, but then this isn't the place for you for this particular issue, and trust can't be built overnight or by pushing and pushing us. Rather, you'll need to find someone or somewhere you DO trust and have more confidence in to bring these issues to.

Here, again, is the one page, were you to pick but one on the boards, that gives you all the information about pregnancy risks and NOT pregnancy risks: http://www.scarleteen.com/bb/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=198

Lastly, a lot of these kinds of posts tend to come from users who have done or are doing things they simply do not feel ready for or comfortable with. The thing is, it's not our job to talk people off a ledge feeling this way, and in a lot of ways, doing so actually stands counter to our aims here of helping our users learn to make their own best choices.

If and when you are feeling this way about certain activities, it's on you to recognize that and stop doing those things that are making you uncomfortable until you can figure out and get whatever it is you need to feel comfortable and secure. Those feelings are cues for you to pay attention to with your choices and your actions, be that about realizing that a given kind of sex with someone isn't right for you right now, or recognizing that you have a need for some mental healthcare. If and when that means you have to deal with uncomfortable feelings for a bit -- like while waiting on a period -- it does, but we can't speed up that time, and that period of time is going to be best used just learning what you can from those feelings so you can do things differently in the future and not keep feeling this way. Sitting with those feelings and figuring out where they are coming from (hint: it is rarely coming from a lack of facts), and then what to change moving forward, is much, much more likely to benefit you and ultimately leave you feeling better than trying to get rid of those feelings or distract yourself from them.

Users who continue to disrespect or try and push or manipulate their way past these limits are going to get threads locked or answered only with this reminder. Those who keep pushing after that will get suspended or banned. Again, this is a hard limit we need to have to do our work here with everyone soundly, and is one of the small ways we ask users to afford us some of the respect we afford all of you. Thank you.