Scarleteen

Hi! I've faced some confusion recently and I was hoping some people could help me figure if something is wrong with me.

I have been trying to masturbate by fingering myself and using a dildo for about a year now and it's always just meh? When I first start masturbating through vibrators it felt great. Fantastic even! But whenever I try to use a dildo or my fingers it's just like "okay there's something in me" and nothing else. I feel almost zero pleasure from it and I honestly don't know what's wrong. I'm a virgin so I've never had sex with someone else but I want to and I don't understand how I am supposed to if I can't feel good through penetration. Does anyone know how to make it feel good or at least make it feel like something other than there's just something inside of me?

Is this just a me thing? I definitely feel like something wrong with me.

Hi MoriaFlower,

I promise there's nothing wrong with you. What you're describing is actually a really common experience! The reason for that is because the vaginal canal isn't all that sensitive, especially once you get past the first third of it. So a lot of people find that internal stimulation doesn't feel all that exciting, and that they find external stimulation to be way more pleasurable.

The fact that vaginal intercourse ISN'T the be-all end-all of pleasure for a lot of people is part of why you'll see us, and many other sex educators, trying to move the focus off of that as the main or only way people have sex. Too, sex between two people can (and does) involve so many different activities, that plenty of people find they have have happy, satisfying sex lives without vaginal intercourse at all. This article is a great place to start reading more about that if you're curious: What's Sex?