Not entirely sure i'm a lesbian??
Posted: Sat Oct 05, 2024 3:08 am
Hello :] As the title says, I think I'm a lesbian but I'm not completely sure??
I've always been drawn to being friends with just girls, and when I was in 3rd grade, I had a "crush" on my best friend. We'd roleplay out in the trees during recess, and I'd come back home having a rush of euphoria thinking about her and all the time spent with her. I (only once) had a sensual dream about me and her, aged up, embracing each other. I'm not 100% sure if this was a crush though, as I've never felt the same way for anyone else and therefore can't really check?? my feelings if that makes sense.
The thing is, I was exposed to sexual content young, as well as queer content, so I fear this might've influenced my thinking about her. I also had a crush on a boy at the same time, so I'm not sure if I fit the term of a lesbian. (Then again, I did ditch him to call my best friend while he was over at my house.)
Now it's the present and the only thing I can do is reminisce on the feelings I felt and wonder if they were even real. Was it all just a series of events that led me to believe I was a lesbian at a young age and I've been thinking that way ever since? I don't "fawn" over boys or girls, but I recognize how emotional, beautiful, loving and gracious girls are, while boys are just...there. (Maybe it's because all the boys I've been exposed to were weird and uninteresting?)
I've identified as a lesbian, bisexual, omnisexual, aand now I think I might just be living in some sort of delusion to try and be "different."
I've always been drawn to being friends with just girls, and when I was in 3rd grade, I had a "crush" on my best friend. We'd roleplay out in the trees during recess, and I'd come back home having a rush of euphoria thinking about her and all the time spent with her. I (only once) had a sensual dream about me and her, aged up, embracing each other. I'm not 100% sure if this was a crush though, as I've never felt the same way for anyone else and therefore can't really check?? my feelings if that makes sense.
The thing is, I was exposed to sexual content young, as well as queer content, so I fear this might've influenced my thinking about her. I also had a crush on a boy at the same time, so I'm not sure if I fit the term of a lesbian. (Then again, I did ditch him to call my best friend while he was over at my house.)
Now it's the present and the only thing I can do is reminisce on the feelings I felt and wonder if they were even real. Was it all just a series of events that led me to believe I was a lesbian at a young age and I've been thinking that way ever since? I don't "fawn" over boys or girls, but I recognize how emotional, beautiful, loving and gracious girls are, while boys are just...there. (Maybe it's because all the boys I've been exposed to were weird and uninteresting?)
I've identified as a lesbian, bisexual, omnisexual, aand now I think I might just be living in some sort of delusion to try and be "different."