Scarleteen

Hello :] As the title says, I think I'm a lesbian but I'm not completely sure??

I've always been drawn to being friends with just girls, and when I was in 3rd grade, I had a "crush" on my best friend. We'd roleplay out in the trees during recess, and I'd come back home having a rush of euphoria thinking about her and all the time spent with her. I (only once) had a sensual dream about me and her, aged up, embracing each other. I'm not 100% sure if this was a crush though, as I've never felt the same way for anyone else and therefore can't really check?? my feelings if that makes sense.

The thing is, I was exposed to sexual content young, as well as queer content, so I fear this might've influenced my thinking about her. I also had a crush on a boy at the same time, so I'm not sure if I fit the term of a lesbian. (Then again, I did ditch him to call my best friend while he was over at my house.)

Now it's the present and the only thing I can do is reminisce on the feelings I felt and wonder if they were even real. Was it all just a series of events that led me to believe I was a lesbian at a young age and I've been thinking that way ever since? I don't "fawn" over boys or girls, but I recognize how emotional, beautiful, loving and gracious girls are, while boys are just...there. (Maybe it's because all the boys I've been exposed to were weird and uninteresting?)

I've identified as a lesbian, bisexual, omnisexual, aand now I think I might just be living in some sort of delusion to try and be "different."

Crushes can take many different forms, but if you felt things, then you felt things. There doesn't need to be any underlying reason or proof which makes those feelings legitimate, they're already legitimate.

I also don't think there's anything delusional about using any of those words to describe yourself.

Only you can decide what works best for you!