You're not afraid anymore! Wahoo!

[Heather]

You once struggled with a lot of fear about something, especially to the degree that your fear and anxiety took over your life. But you are finally past it, and either just totally over that fear, or have figured out a way to dial it down and manage it.

Whatever that fear was about, how did you turn it around? And what do you think you can offer others from your experiences with that who are currently debilitated by their fears?

[ratperson]

I have three of these.

First, my fear of pregnancy. That one was a paralyzing fear: I never knew I could go without sleep for four days straight because of an IBS flare (going to the bathroom every half hour all night until my gut was empty) caused by panic attacks! Eventually, I started to realize that if I hadn't got pregnant yet using the methods I use, that means it's relatively unlikely. Once I saw a different doctor and was diagnosed with endometriosis, she placed me on both the depo shot and a low-dose combined pill. Together, they basically guarantee (unless I miss pills and forget to get a new shot both at once, or some other catastrophe happens) that I won't get pregnant. That was hugely reassuring, and since then I have had less and less anxiety. If it comes back, I can reassure myself further by looking back at previous posts, reminding myself how far I've come since then, and focusing on something positive.

The second is talking on the phone. I'm still getting over that fear, but calling so many doctor's offices the past few months has definitely helped me get used to the situation. I have trouble figuring out whether someone is going to continue speaking after a small pause or if they're done talking, so I talk as little as possible for fear of interrupting. However, doctor's offices and other places of business have very professional callers who are good at intonation so that I can tell clearly if they are done talking or not. That's been very helpful. I've yet to get over the fear, but having a list of successful phone calls under my belt already makes each new one progressively easier.

The third is seeing a counselor. I was absolutely terrified of it for a few reasons. First, my bio-mom has anxiety (as do I) and I feared that because it confirmed our relationship and I really don't like the idea of sharing anything with her. I also feared the stigma of seeing a counselor: every time I mentioned having anxiety to my dad I was met with 'What do YOU have to be anxious about? You don't have a job, or a car, or a kid!' no, dad, I'm in college, I have several chronic illnesses to deal with, and I have a pet rat who demands a lot of attention. -__- Eventually, I got over my fear because over the past few months I've been entertaining the idea of being autistic. After a lot of soul-searching and realizing it seemed true (with several friends agreeing that they've seen those traits in me for years), I decided seeing a counselor to confirm would be a good idea. It's helped me with a lot of other things too!

[Heather]

How fantastic is all of this!?! Rock on, ratperson!

[Peonies]

Thanks for posting this, Heather. I really needed this!
I have dealt an irrational fear of terminal illness for a few years now off an on. My biggest fear is cancer, mostly due to the fact that I watched my mom suffer through cancer (she is a survivor and is doing wonderful!). I've thought I've had about every kind of cancer out there. Like many users on this website experiencing a pregnancy scare, the internet is a bad place to search for symptoms on. I have also dealt with anxiety and depression related to an abusive relationship (fear that the person would show up at my house and hurt me again). For me, taking the first step was talking to a trusted family member about the anxiety and fears I had. From there, I found a counselor provided to me by my university. I haven't taken any prescription drugs for depression/anxiety because they do not personally do much for me. I find that talking about my fears and getting reassurance from someone professional helps me a lot. I try to calm myself down, but ultimately having that person to talk me down is that gets me past my fears.