I'm lesbian but emotionally attatched to a guy

[fresariver]

Hello! I recently realized I was actually a lesbian while I was dating this really sweet guy. We broke up a few days ago, but it's been rough on me. I'm sure I don't have any sort of romantic feelings towards him, but I also opened up to him about some really personal stuff while we were together and I think that's where I'm struggling with letting go. There's moments where I miss him and cry because I miss him, but then there's moments where I don't miss him? I know it's part of the "grieving" process but it's difficult because whenever I miss him it feels like I liked him but I never really did, more like I was forcing myself and going through comphet instead. I find myself wanting him back although I know if we were to get back together it wouldn't be enjoyable for me and I would end up hurting him even more. I'm just clueless as to what to do and how I can get over him I guess

[Jacob]

Hey fresariver!

I don't think it's a result of comphet to care for, or miss someone you've recently broken up with! Or even to feel attached to them as a person you care about without having been very attracted to them.

You can hold all these things in yourself without it compromising your identity... everything seems fine here!

Although I think you're right to say some of these feelings are hard, this is a good time to taking care of yourself. I hope you're finding ways to do that?