Scarleteen

hello. i'm 17, FTM, and unemployed. i'm stuck in a small house with my family and i want to leave, but i dread getting a job. neither of my parents are employed and refuse to change that, so we don't have much money to work off of, but i desperately want to get out of here and experience life. how do i pick myself up by the bootstraps?

Hi Meadowlarking,

It is great that you want to take the initiative to change the parts of your life that you don't like. Just remember to be kind to yourself through this process. The process of building the life you want might not always be easy. If something isn't working out, don't assume that there is something wrong with you, or that you aren't working hard enough to pull yourself up.

A job can be a useful excuse to get out of the house and might help you with financial independence, but that doesn't need to be your first step if it seems scary. The smallest step you can take is to find any reason to get out of the house on a regular basis — it could just be a walk. You could check if there are local places that you can go regularly without having to spend money, like a library. Attending events or hobby groups in your community might be a good option if you can find them. Since a job seems overwhelming, I wonder if it would be easier to find a volunteer position — these can be short term or long term, and tend to require lower commitment than a job.

I have a few questions:

• Do you have a means of transport?

• Are you still in school?

• What is it about a job that seems dreadful to you?