Scarleteen

This is something I’ve been wanting to ask about/get off my chest.

The other day I saw a TikTok about how a lady in her 30’s still reads about Harry Potter fanfiction to this day.

And most comments were normal, until I scrolled down a bit.

People started calling her weird for reading/writing fanfiction about the fictional teenagers.

She responded, and made sure to tell them it wasn’t anything sexual, but still some thought it was weird that she liked still liked shipping the characters at her “grown age”

I hate how TikTok makes everything seem bad.


This made me nervous.

I am 17, and most of my favorite fictional characters/ships are younger than me.

If I continue to write/read fanfiction of my favorite fictional characters, and they happen to be minors, does that make me weird and gross?

I mean, most of my favorite artists/fanfiction writers are 30 year old Tumblr artists, and I never thought anything was weird about that, even if their favorite fictional characters happen to be minors.


Idk. My OCD likes to convince me.

I talked to my mom about it. She told me that I really need to stop worrying about what is considered “normal” she said she knows I’m not weird. She said I’m fine. She said to like whatever like for as long as I like it.

Is she right? Or… should I listen to the TikTok comments?


I just like the characters how they are. I can’t imagine forcing myself to stop liking what characters I like to read about simply because I’m older than them


Is this weird? I promise it’s not supposed to be weird. I just like the characters I like, and I like to ship them. I don’t want to become an adult and older if it means I should stop being like this. I can’t help that fictional characters don’t actually age


Or am I just looking too much into it? I never thought anything about it before…


Just trying to convince myself I’m overthinking about it…

Hi Malla_Fluff!

One of my favorite Scarleteen articles, Am I normal? Who cares?, makes almost exactly the same argument that your Mom did. I know that it can feel bad when other people comment on something that you like and say that it's weird to like it, but I bet there's someone out there (probably someone on TikTok) who thinks it's "weird" to like literally anything. There's absolutely nothing in the world that everyone likes.

So yeah, there are some people on TikTok who think that shipping characters who are minors is weird. Their opinions don't matter! The important thing is what YOU think. I can tell from what you've written that at least part of you believes that no, it's not weird — it would be weird to immediately stop liking a character just because you've gotten a little bit older than them! But is there another part of you that maybe does believe that it is weird? Can you ask that part of you why it might be weird?

Sometimes if we can think or talk or write about our fears and secret beliefs, even if only part of us believes it, it can help us figure out what we really believe and help us feel so confident in that belief that it doesn't matter what strangers say about it. So what do you think? Do you want to talk it through here?

I guess I’m just scared that I’m supposed to be changing because I’m getting older.

Almost ALL of my favorite fictional characters are between the ages of 14-18.

I never really thought it was weird that I’ve liked the same characters and things since I was like… 12?

But now after seeing that TikTok… they were almost accusing the lady of being pedophilic because she likes writing/reading Harry Potter fanfiction in her 30s.


I didn’t think that was weird… I mean, fictional characters don’t age. Why should she stop liking the characters and ships?

If she likes making fanart, fanfiction, whatever, why does that have to be made gross and weird?

People just started assuming the worst.


I love Harry Potter too! And other things like anime! The characters are almost always minors.

I just can’t imagine forcing myself to stop reading/writing fanfiction of my favorite characters and ships, and enjoying things like fanart and edits.


I’ve liked this stuff since I was 12. If I naturally grow out of it, that’s different.

But I don’t want to feel like I need to just because I’m naturally growing older.

I age, fictional characters don’t.


I just like the characters because I find them relatable, I like the characters as a whole, and I like shipping them. I’ve always liked them. It’s not about the fact that their minors…


So I guess deep down, I personally believe that this is fine. Who cares? I’m not weird or sexualizing fictional children. Why would this be bad if I don’t hurt anyone?


But… the small voice has been growing a bit since I saw that TikTok.

I’ve always seen myself just being me, no matter how old I get. I wanna like what I like for as long as I like.

I mean, I still have stuffed animals, and toys, dolls, and I love asking for the same stuff for Christmas and my birthday every year!


But now… that’s being challenged for me.


What if I’m wrong? Should I really stop liking this stuff as I get older?


What if I like the same stuff when I’m in my 30s too? Shipping? Fanfictions? If the fictional characters are minors… is that suddenly not okay?

I’m promise I’m not creepy T^T

I think the two things to be aware of here are 1, how "too old for" is a pretty normative way to think about development and 2; the way tiktok works, kinda sucks.

On point 1, people go through different phases to each-other, at different ages to each-other. Many of our tastes or the characters if any, in our fantasies etc change over time with every life experience, with new books and movies we get into over time, but also we all bring very different perspectives to those experiences. A big area of conversation within disabled communities and and around neurodiversity is that we can't use one aspect of someone's communication, or physical needs, or personal interests to decide for them how mature they are, we all deserve to be respected. It's the same thing with all the ways those interests and needs intersect with sexuality.

That's general information about being considered "too old for" a certain type of media, but one extra piece that I'll add for you though, is that the fear that we'll age and our interests won't and we'll somehow end up in the realm of social outcast, is a very common anxious thought, especially in OCD and it doesn't actually have much to do with the above! It's more about the sense that you will do/say/feel/be the wrong thing about something and that it will have been your fault.

As well-meaning as your mom probably was, with OCD it's not really possible to "just stop worrying", instead it's about finding those activities that give you whatever it is the worrying is giving you, so that you no longer feel that pull of rumination/fixation on a topic.

Worrying might, for example, give you a feeling of safety, because if you've worried about something maybe there's a logic there that it can no longer hurt you, so you better worry more! Or it might result in someone giving you reassurance so that you're not alone and hence feel safer... If you can manage to shift the "just don't worry" thought to a "what can i do instead to get what I'm searching for" that will be super helpful.

Finally point 2, goshdarn TikTok! I know it's hugely popular, but part of that is because of how readily it measures how much a video keeps your attention and serves you something else to do the same. That can draw a bunch of bullies to descend upon the same person to criticize, or maybe it's not bullies but well-meaning citizens, I don't know the specific situation, but it doesn't really matter because it's also the same mechanism that draws in people who are easily made anxious and ruminate on a certain topic. So I think it's important to remember that this isn't something that's just happening on TikTok, it's more that it's something that is happening on your TikTok specifically because it's an area you have anxiety around, and I'd be pretty pissed if an app was treating me like that. Even if it's a soulless algorithm deciding to do that, there are people who decided an algorithm which behaves that way is profitable and makes them money, regardless of who it hurts.

Unless you feel very strong-willed and able to look-away until you stop being showed this kind of content, I think you could do worse than taking a break from TikTok and maybe exploring other ways to engage in topics you care about especially wherever you feel empowered to choose the atmosphere under-which you're exploring. You've got enough on your plate without having to play defense against a thing that is actively tripping you up.