guilt after masturbating....

[stateofgrace]

hi, similar topic again:(
as 2025 started, I said to myself I will not masturbate anymore. I think that's a very bad thing, but I think that only about myself. But I already failed this "challange", once. Felt so guilty about it, disgusted by myself, my weird fetish etc. I feel like I wasted that time, I could do something productive...
I read on forums that masturbation is perfectly normal but I think that it's not. Can I somehow manage this disgusting desire?

[Heather]

Hi there, stateofgrace.

I think the first step here is to correct your own language when you do things like call the desire to masturbate "disgusting." It isn't disgusting, just like rubbing your neck when it's sore isn't disgusting, finding something to eat that delights you isn't disgusting, and like having sex with a partner isn't disgusting. But if you keep saying it is, then it's going to be awfully hard for you to change how you think and feel about it.

I'm not wholly sure why you were trying to stop masturbating, but it sounds like this attempt is about these false and destructive beliefs about it. Might you be open to consider working on changing how you think about it instead so that you don't have to feel this way for the rest of your life?