How to get Over a Heartbreak
Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2024 8:40 am
Hello, I was talking with my coworker for about 2 months before we had a huge argument and I ended things. He wouldn't communicate whenever there was an issue and so I just couldn't do it and ended things. We had agreed to work on ourselves for a while before trying again if we both still wanted to in a few months when we've healed. Well, my friend had informed me about two days later that he had started following our other coworker (lets call her S) on social media.
For context, S had a huge crush on him (calling him A) since before A and I had gotten together. Everybody in our workplace knew this but she stopped pursuing him after me and him started talking (and after he blocked her on everything lol.) Naturally, though, she would always talk about me and, because I'm friends with everyone at work, they would always tell me what she said. I never did anything though and just spoke to her like everything was fine. I guess everything I'm about to say was my fault for being stupid and letting people walk all over me.
Well when I saw that he had added her on everything (I know this was a horrible idea) I was upset and messaged him about it. He got upset back at me because "he just wanted to be her friend" and said that "if you are friends with her, why can't i as well?" Despite the fact that he knew she's been liking him since forever and that she said a lot of bad things about me. He ended up sending me a paragraph about how he was tired of being accused of things that aren't true and blocked me without even letting me respond.
Well, lo and behold, it's been 12 days since the break up and..... he and S have been talking for 3 days now.
If I thought the initial breakup was bad, it's even worse now. It hurts so much anytime I see them messing around or laughing together at work. Two days ago, they went on break together and went and got food together and as soon as they left everyone at my workplace started saying how what he did was a shitty move and that they felt bad for me. I brushed it off but it's actually so hard for me as well. Last night at work I heard him calling her the nickname he would call me (which is also my personal nickname used by my entire family because of an inside joke so it doesn't even make sense for him to be calling her by it?) and it set me back so much.
All I really want is closure, I just want to know why he lied to me and if the two months we spent together just meant nothing for him to just move on a week after we broke up.
So I did yet another stupid thing and texted S last night after work and asked if it was fine with her if I spoke with A so I could get closure. She said it was fine and that "she completely understood how I felt" (which she obviously doesn't because if she did she never would've done that knowing how much it hurts.) So then I asked if she could ask A to unblock me or just ask him herself when him and I could meet up to talk and I never got an answer and it's been 12 hours.
I'm honestly just so lost. I want to go full crazy psycho ex and just go to his truck after we get out of class and demand an explanation from him so I can finally get closure and move on, but at the same time is that even a good idea? I don't know if I should keep trying to get closure or just move on but I genuinely feel like I'm losing my mind. It hurts so, so much, especially because he was my first EVERYTHING. He met my parents, he was the first guy I held hands with, he was the first guy I started talking to romantically, he was the first PERSON I opened up about some stuff that happened to me in the past. I just want to know if all of this meant nothing to him and why, if he's so set on saying that *i* was the one that hurt *him*, am i the only one struggling so much with moving on?
I love my job, I love my coworkers and they're some of my closest friends but I find myself wanting to quit. I don't want to because I truly, truly do love my job and working there but is it setting me back? A and I had the first normal conversation last night since the breakup and it made me feel better and worse at the same time. I miss the days when him and I used to mess around, I miss being his *friend*, not even hus partner.
I hate seeing then together knowing it used to be him and I and not him and her. I hate hearing him call her my nickname. I hate the way I can feel his eyes boring into me when he thinks I'm not watching because both of us know he's not truly over me. I hate watching him smile at her knowing it used to be me. I hate watching them go on break together knowing it used to be us. I hate having to hear from my coworkers that he bought her McDonalds knowing McDonalds was OUR place. I hate everything about the entire situation and I am so utterly lost on what to do.
For context, S had a huge crush on him (calling him A) since before A and I had gotten together. Everybody in our workplace knew this but she stopped pursuing him after me and him started talking (and after he blocked her on everything lol.) Naturally, though, she would always talk about me and, because I'm friends with everyone at work, they would always tell me what she said. I never did anything though and just spoke to her like everything was fine. I guess everything I'm about to say was my fault for being stupid and letting people walk all over me.
Well when I saw that he had added her on everything (I know this was a horrible idea) I was upset and messaged him about it. He got upset back at me because "he just wanted to be her friend" and said that "if you are friends with her, why can't i as well?" Despite the fact that he knew she's been liking him since forever and that she said a lot of bad things about me. He ended up sending me a paragraph about how he was tired of being accused of things that aren't true and blocked me without even letting me respond.
Well, lo and behold, it's been 12 days since the break up and..... he and S have been talking for 3 days now.
If I thought the initial breakup was bad, it's even worse now. It hurts so much anytime I see them messing around or laughing together at work. Two days ago, they went on break together and went and got food together and as soon as they left everyone at my workplace started saying how what he did was a shitty move and that they felt bad for me. I brushed it off but it's actually so hard for me as well. Last night at work I heard him calling her the nickname he would call me (which is also my personal nickname used by my entire family because of an inside joke so it doesn't even make sense for him to be calling her by it?) and it set me back so much.
All I really want is closure, I just want to know why he lied to me and if the two months we spent together just meant nothing for him to just move on a week after we broke up.
So I did yet another stupid thing and texted S last night after work and asked if it was fine with her if I spoke with A so I could get closure. She said it was fine and that "she completely understood how I felt" (which she obviously doesn't because if she did she never would've done that knowing how much it hurts.) So then I asked if she could ask A to unblock me or just ask him herself when him and I could meet up to talk and I never got an answer and it's been 12 hours.
I'm honestly just so lost. I want to go full crazy psycho ex and just go to his truck after we get out of class and demand an explanation from him so I can finally get closure and move on, but at the same time is that even a good idea? I don't know if I should keep trying to get closure or just move on but I genuinely feel like I'm losing my mind. It hurts so, so much, especially because he was my first EVERYTHING. He met my parents, he was the first guy I held hands with, he was the first guy I started talking to romantically, he was the first PERSON I opened up about some stuff that happened to me in the past. I just want to know if all of this meant nothing to him and why, if he's so set on saying that *i* was the one that hurt *him*, am i the only one struggling so much with moving on?
I love my job, I love my coworkers and they're some of my closest friends but I find myself wanting to quit. I don't want to because I truly, truly do love my job and working there but is it setting me back? A and I had the first normal conversation last night since the breakup and it made me feel better and worse at the same time. I miss the days when him and I used to mess around, I miss being his *friend*, not even hus partner.
I hate seeing then together knowing it used to be him and I and not him and her. I hate hearing him call her my nickname. I hate the way I can feel his eyes boring into me when he thinks I'm not watching because both of us know he's not truly over me. I hate watching him smile at her knowing it used to be me. I hate watching them go on break together knowing it used to be us. I hate having to hear from my coworkers that he bought her McDonalds knowing McDonalds was OUR place. I hate everything about the entire situation and I am so utterly lost on what to do.