Struggling with my identity (sort of...).

[GarfieldIsCool]

So basically,
I've recently started to kinda embrace the fact that I'm nonbinary. I was out properly to everyone around me in 2021, but I basically was pressured back into the closet by people like my parents and just the social pressure and bullying I faced at that time. I'm not really out out rn - I shaved my head (which I really adore) which makes me feel a lot of gender euphoria, I've been styling myself in a more masculine/androgynous way (I'm AFAB), but I don't know what else I can do. I don't know how to come out - like I've tried with my friends but they just kind of forget, and my parents say its just too hard to remember pronouns or think of me as anything more than their daughter. I've started a very queer sport recently (climbing), and I've met a few gender-queer people, but I'm not really out and I'm often much younger than other climbers so I have a hard time finding community there.
I have a binder and that kinda stuff that I managed to buy, but I always feel like something about me feels quite feminine - my mannerisms are very stereotypically "girly", and I feel like I'm almost pressuring myself to become too masculine (for what my actual identity is). I don't know what to do, as in how to come out to people or to like wait. I'm 17, but not planning on going to uni or leaving home for a while, so its not like I will soon have a new environment with new people, and the name that I quite like is a big change from my current name and I feel like no one would actually remember it. HELP!!!!
- Garfield

[CaitlinEve]

Hi GarfieldIsCool!

You mention having recently joined a space that is queer, so why not start there and/or with the gender-queer people you've met? Finding and building a community can be really hard, but I think you'll find that it's worth it for the reassurance and support they can provide. Another option is finding an online community that you can join, with the same goal, so you can test out your new name!

I also want to mention that being non-binary does not mean being a certain percentage 'boy' and a certain percentage 'girl'. You may prefer to wear more masculine clothes while maintaining feminine mannerisms, and that doesn't disregard your gender identity.